Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The a-hole approved car


The other night I was out to dinner with a friend and we got on the topic of cars. Not really cars, but bad drivers. Or rather, a$$hole drivers. The stories were entertaining but what really made it memorable was that all our stories seemed to start the same way:

"I was driving down the road and some a$$hole in a 3-series BMW…"

Think about your own encounters with an a$$hole driver, and I'll wager at least half of them involve a 3-series bimmer. It is the a$$holes choice of car.

I'm not saying that everyone who drives a 3-series is an a$$hole. Off the top of my head, I can think of at least three friends who drive a 3-series, and they are very nice people and courteous drivers. But there is a segment of the population out there who drives likes a$$holes, and the care they seem to drive most is the 3-series.

The only reason I can think of why has to do with the status. BMW makes fantastic cars. They are (usually) styled very well and their performance is impressive. Driving one denotes a certain status or success. The average BMW costs more than the average household income in the US. I don't think a$$hole behavior is as prevalent with 5-series, 7-series, etc, drivers. I only see it with the 300's. It is the lowest price model, making it more accessible to a larger portion of the jerk population.

3-series owners drive like NBA players showboat: They act like childish jerks and they want everyone to notice; they want street cred. Whenever I see one on the road today, I instinctively think "a$$hole alert!", and take defensive steps immediately. They have a bad reputation, which provokes an instantiations dislike for them, and an unwillingness of other drivers to show them any kindness on the road. As a result, this causes more a$$hole behavior from them, which continues the spiral.

Meanwhile, other jerky drivers slip by under the radar, their numbers in other models of cars are too small to notice. The really clever ones drive cars you would never suspect an a$$hole driver to own. They perform unbelievable acts of a$$holeness on an unsuspecting motorists. They get away with it because no one expects this behavior, except from a 3-series driver.

Which is why I drive a Volvo.

Happy driving.

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