Airports and Hospitals

Recently, I have been spending a lot of time in Airports and Hospitals and I have noticed a few similarities. Namely:

1. They all look the same on the inside
2. This similarity brings back a lot of memories
3. These memories are usually very sad

Airports used to be a happy place for me (pre 9/11). It was fun - you would get off a plane, and maybe you would have a family member or loved one meeting you at the gate. It was a thrill for me. I pity the post 9/11 generation who does not have the opportunity to experience the joy of seeing someone exiting the gang plank.

Now, airports are sad to me. The only emotional response that seems to come from flying is the relief loved ones get from post-landing cell phones. Seriously. It has been over six years, but we all still call someone once we land just to let them know we are safe. Quite a letdown from the welcome hug you could get at the gate.

Hospitals are a different story. I never liked them before, and after my mom passed away, I can't stand them. I was with my mom when she passed away in the hospital, and since then the sight of them makes me ill. They beds, the smell, the drapes - everything - brings back a flood of unpleasant memories. I think it took me a good 6-8 months after my mom past away before I could watch a movie or TV show that took place in a hospital, and even now, it still makes me uncomfortable.

God Bless the people who work in hospitals. I am always amazed by the kindness and dedication of the good people who work in these facilities administering care to the sick and needy. Their dedication is motivated by a kindness that goes beyond any sort of monetary compensation they receive for working there.

I have read the mind makes these linkages and associations for speed and efficiency. I need to break this habit - to de-evolve a bit - and look at both these places fresh. I know there is no way to go back to the way things were, but there has got to be a way to put a fresh spin on these places.

It is a new goal for 2008!

My good deed in Vegas

Last week I was in Vegas for a trade show (the "World of Concrete" show. I am not lying. There really is a trade show devoted to Concrete, and not surprisingly it is in Vegas). One night I hit the tables (okay - every night), and I got to perform a good deed.

I am at the Blackjack table with Rick the sales rep for Southern California (fun guy, fantastic hair, great Blackjack player). I am down at this point, needing a big rally. I have $10 on the table, and I get a winner. The dealer overpays me on the payoff. She puts down $15.

My guilty conscious won't let me take the extra cash. I point out the overpay to the dealer. At first she was shocked, but then she thanks me. The others at the table look at me in stunned disbelief. Rick gives me an expression which borders between thoughtful introspection and wanting to smack me in the head. He takes the moral upper hand and decides to applaud my gesture, albeit skeptically.

The next hand, I am dealt an ace and a king - blackjack. The hand after that I get a double down opportunity, which I win, along with the next two wins after that. Good deeds are rewarded.

God bless Vegas

Why politicians are doomed

Watching Mike Huckabee before the State of the Union address, I realized that most all politicians are doomed.

As a Republican party hopeful for President, Huckabee was noteable for numerous reasons - his Southern Baptist roots, his guitar playing, the fact he was Governor of Arkansas like Clinton. But he didn't seem to get any real attention until he started playing the populist card of Free Trade = Bad Trade. His rallies against Free Trade and support of American populism allowed him to be brought into the forefront.

He claimed the leadership of this issue to allow himself to get noticed. This is not a new strategy. McCarthy used the Red Scare to take him from obscurity to notoriety. There is a downside to this strategy

The greater you use this issue to get noticed the more it will come to doom and haunt you. It happened tonight on TV with Huckabee. While being interviewed before the State of the Union address, he started backtracking on his positions. He said he was never totally against Free trade but wanted Fair trade. As the interview ended, I think I heard the first nail be hammered into the coffin.

This issue was bound to doom him; he was on the wrong side from the beginning and his ideas were too radical to be taken seriously. But these radical ideas got him noticed in the first place. He found a populist issue that got him noticed, ran with it, and it will ultimately doom him by being too radical and impractical. Without this issue, he is a guitar playing, Southern Baptist, Governor - another name on the list of also rans who wanted to be President but could not do it.

Let this be a warning to everyone eyeing 2012. Substance counts.

Get your "yak yak" on

"I think we need to consider the strain this might put on our sales force" Ed said looking up from his laptop, during a department meeting a few months ago. I was surprised by the statement, but not because it was not a valid point (it was). I was surprised because Ed was sitting next to me, IMing jokes at the time to a coworker who was lucky enough not to be in this 2-hour yawn-a-thon of a meeting. I thought Ed was as spaced out as I was, but apparently not - at least for that moment. He chimed in with a comment that was relevant, important and created a discussion in the meeting. I looked over at Ed, and he smiled, turned to me and said in low voice "gotta get your comments in."

He was right. It is important to at least appear that you are contributing and adding value, especially when you are not. To all outward appearances, Ed was totally tuned out. He was typing away at his laptop, paying no attention to the speaker, or anyone around him. But with that one sentence, he erased all those negative perceptions.

Ed and I spoke about this phenomena often. There is a need to make sure that you make a comment or contribution in any discussion so that you appear to be an engaged member of the group and one whose opinion matters and should be heeded. This is especially important if you are looking to move up in an organization. It doesn't matter too much what was said, or even the resolution of the discussion, so long as it appears you are a concerned manager. Making random comments or jokes may be fun, but too many can ultimately lead to your downfall. The key is, how often do you contribute with a comment of value.

Numerous factors could determine how much you should speak. I began gathering data based on meetings I was attending, to try to figure out the correct balance. I started noting and collecting possible influences on the number of comments as part of my research. The number of variables I was gathering seemed to be getting out of hand. I decided the only solution was to apply my Six Sigma training.

Six Sigma, for those of you not indoctrinated, is a way of analysing all the critical factors that can effect an outcome and identify the key variables that need to be controlled to run an event. In this case, I had to ID all the factors (the X's) that could effect the number of comments that needed to be made in a meeting to produce the outcome (or Y) that I was an engaged and contributing member of the team.

After considering all the X's, my statistical analysis revealed that only two had P-values which showed they had an influence on the outcome. They were:

1. Length of the meeting

2. Number of people attending the meeting (including yourself)

Length of meeting is fairly straight forward and it is a direct relationship. The longer the meeting, the more comments need to be made. Number of people in attendance is an inverse relationship. The more people who are at the meeting, the fewer comments should be made. It is part of the balance of making comments - you need to contribute, without dominating the conversation. You don't want to come off as a know-it-all.

Using these two variables, I was able to generate an R^2 0f 78.8%, which for this non-scientific study I think is good enough. Other factors considered but which did not make the cuts include: Level of the person chairing the meeting, how many levels you are below the meeting chair, length of the ensuing discussion resulting from your comment. All had some effect but without a valid P-score.

This is all fine and well, I am sure you are saying, but how does this help me? By using the X coefficients and the Y-intercept, a simple formula can be created to let you know how many comments you should make in a meeting, based on these two factors:

6.01 + [(.094) x (length of meeting in minutes)] + [(-0.41) x (No. of attendees)] = # of comments

This will allow you to figure our how much talking you need to do by the time the meeting is over. For example, lets say you were faced with a 2 hour meeting with 24 other people. The correct number of comments to make would be:

6.01 + [0.094 x 120] + [-0.41 x 25] =

6.01 + 11.33 - 10.2 = 7 comments (or speaking every 16.75 minutes)

I put this formula into an excel spreadsheet for easy reference; it also helps me keep track of the number of comments made, too, instead of wasting valuable braincells. For example, I write this during my 2 hour meeting with 24 other people, and have just made comment #6 "But do the December financials take into consideration the restructuring of the US organization?"

Ed looked up from his laptop and nodded in approval. Yep, my efficiency in wasting time has reached a new level.

Reflections on 2008 (so far)

This posting was originally started about 2am on Jan 1, 2008. I would have finished it then, but the "mickey" I think I was slipped sometime during the night was beginning to have its effect on me (it would linger for 3 days). While some of this may seem bizarre, hopefully parts will be humorous. This is pretty much unedited ramblings and a play by play call of what happened, taken from the mind of a slightly inebriated party goer. I think a lot more happened, but it is all so hazy now...

Enjoy!

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Let me begin this posting with the following disclaimers:

(1) I have no social, political or religious interests in the year 2008. The fact there is a presidential election this year means nothing to me; I could see myself voting for Hillary as easily as I could see me voting for McCain. My only real interest in '08 is that it is '80 backwards.

(2) I have broken my promise to swear off booze for 30 days (starting on Dec 30th), so this whole posting will be replete with spelling, grammatical, and other context errors combined with the fact I am a big fat liar.

Myself and others (most notably my friend Gassman) were at some fancy pants event at the Chamber's Hotel in downtown Minneapolis. The event was overall fun. It was on the 5th floor of the Chambers Hotel in downtown Minnie. It is a nice place, with a good view. But then again, the 5th floor of a hotel in Minnie is like the view from base camp of Mt. Everest; sure it is nice, but it could be much better! The worst part of the the view was I could see the Groves 601 hotel, which has the most insanely comfortable beds I have ever slept in. All other beds are crap in comparison. I don't know how I can even think of having a good night's sleep just looking at that hotel, and their plush, comfortable, seductive beds.... oh mama!

How to begin this year. Let see. The evening did not get interesting till about 11:15 Central Time. At this time, we started texting friends in the Eastern Time zone (the REAL time zone) with messages from the past (don't forget us! We are not gone!). This was fun for a while, but then we needed booze.

11:30 pm - First contact with the future! We received text messages back. Friends from the East coast are (a) still awake and (b) still communicating with those strange creatures they call Midwesterners-in-the-mist.

11:37 pm - make new friend at the bar. Older guy who is having trouble getting drink at the bar. We help him out, but only after he threatens to steal our mini-bottles of champagne. He quickly discerns that Gassman and I are not from Minnesota. When we asked him how he knew, he responds simply, "because we were smiling"

11:49 pm - last call, before new years at least. nothing too exciting to report. Just the last call before booze for 2007. As far as I am concerned, this past year can go. Nothing good really happened as far as I am concerned. No great political changes occurred (in this country at least), most of the movies sucked (outside of "No Country for Old Men"' if it doesn't win the Oscar for Best Picture, then something is wrong), and the music generally blew (but I did get to hear one track from Radiohead's new release, which could make the whole year worthwhile). Plus the spread of grey hairs went far beyond (and below) my head.

11:57 pm - 3 minutes till next year. See above. What the fricking h#ll do I care.

12:00 am - the past three minutes take about 12 seconds to pass. This is either due to (a) my watch not being synchronized to the world clock or (b) being much drunker than I thought. I am fairly certain that it is (b).

12:25 am - Gassman wants to go outside for a smoke. No sense in greeting the new year tobacco free, I guess; We talk with a guy named Johan, or Jonathan, or something similar to John with an Eastern European accent. He talks about his desire to get a job trading in the futures market for Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice, or something like that, once he graduates. From Undergraduate studies at the University of Minnesota. I give him some advice, say good luck and head in. He says thanks and calls me "Sir". I despise 2008 already.

12:35 am - Start texting friends in California. I tell them the new year isn't all that it is cracked up to be. If you can stay in 2007, please do - and take me with you. Maybe I have been too tough on the old year. There were some good reality shows I got hooked on, and the Family Guy made a strong comeback.

12:55 am - Back at the bar with the old drunk, his friend and Gassman. We somehow got on the topic of modern music (and how it sucks), when someone grabs my @ss. There are only three people within grabbing distance of me are Gassman and the old drunk, and his new friend. I am fairly certain it wasn't Gassman who grabbed me. Rather than starting out the year punching a member of AARP, I decide to move locations.

1:32 am - I have officially made it into the next year, and I am officially tired and uninterested in anything that is going to happen this year that can not wait till a good night's sleep. We bail.

1:37 am - although we are only a few stories up, it takes forever to get down. I stop of in the restroom to see if my kidneys still function in '08. Once I do, I am greeted by the Minnesota winter, and the fun of a zero degree day with negative wind chill. I have boogers frozen solid in my nose.

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Gassman was also tired and took off while I went to the can. I find out later that he witnessed an arrest, vandals attacking Rock Bottom brewery and someone tried to mug him for his coat. He decides not to fall for the old "finger in the pants pocket is really a gun" trick and walks away, with coat still on. I stagger home and start writing. I eventually succumb to sleep and what would be one of the worst hangovers I have had in recent memory. I think the old perv at the bar slipped something into my drink (b@stard). Anyway, it took a while, but I am back on the mend.

My opinion of 2008 hasn't changed, though.