A grey area in rules of society in the grocery store

So at what point is one committed to buying produce at the grocery store?

Tonight I was shopping.  I was buying apples.  I was about to drop one in my bag, when I felt an ugly spot on the apple.  I had missed this on my visual inspection; somehow my grip changed when I was putting it in the bag and I felt it, and realized, I have a bad apple.  My question is, am I committed to buying it at this point.

I don't know the rules of society for this situation.  My hand was still on the apple; so just like checkers, I figure the move isn't done - my hand is still on the piece.  But my hand was inside the bag, which I think may constitute an ownership situation.  It was within a container I would take home.  Had my hand still been outside the bag, I wouldn't have taken it.  But because I was about to release in the bag, I felt like I had crossed a line, and I had to buy.

I think my decision was influenced because this was a perishable item I was handling.  I don't feel this way with cereal or other dry goods.  I take those in an out of my bag all the time; I am like a hermit crab spreading my booty throughout the store.  But perishable items - fruits, vegetables, anything coming from behind the counter.... I feel an implied sense of ownership.  I don't know why.  Maybe because there is less protective packaging, so I can't tell if anyone has tampered or touched it, which they invariably have.

Now that is a disquieting thought.... how many other people have touched this apple before it got to me?  5?  10?  100?  I figured at least 5 people - one who picked it, one who sorted and shipped it, one person at the wholesaler who shipped it to this store, one person at the store who put the tag on it, and me.  Could be lots more.  And is it just me, or does the job of putting the individual sticker on each fruit or vegetable item seem like the job only filled by boys who go to Catholic High Schools?  Something about it seems like penance to me.   Your own slice of hell on earth.

Anyway, I took home my apple with the bad spot and cut around it, happy in the knowledge that I prevented the unnecessary touching of fruit by another human being.

Happy shopping

Rude behavior at 32,000 feet

I am on a flight to California, and it sounds like someone behind me
is cutting their finger nails. Yeeewwww gross!

I haven't seen them doing it, but it sounds like it - and it sounds
like it is the person right behind me. That sound is so distinctive,
and the timing between clicks is just right... I don't know what else
it could be. I'm in a middle seat, so I am going to use the twisting
"I'm not spying on you I'm only streatching move" to catch them in the
act. Hold on.

Nope, couldn't catch them in the backhand or forehand twist, nor with
the extra backhand for good measure.

How did they get clippers on the plane anyway? I thought they were
banned, and that you couldn't buy them in airport stores? Okay, that
was more than 10 clips for the fingers and some bonus ones for the
thumbs. Either that sound is something else or he is working on his
toes. Did the TSA change their policies and I don't know it?

It feels like something hit my hair. Do you think a stray nail can be
launched that far? Uggh. I want to get it out but I don't want to
touch my hair doing it. Maybe I should take an electric razor and
shave my head bald just to be safe. It will grow back. Looking like a
doofus for a few months would be a small price to pay compared to
touching someones cruddy, discarded clippings.

Okay, they've stopped. I can't think of what else it could be. When
the plane lands, I'm checking this guy's nails. If they look trimed,
he owes me a pair of clippers and a wig.

Sent from my iPhone

My moral quandry

I got a voice mail from D, a good friend of mine at work. She works in a division which is undergoing layoffs, or "job eliminations" as
we are politely calling them. Her job is safe, but a lot of talented people are not so lucky.

She has called me before in the past to see if I can help some of her friends. I think very highly of her and if she says they are good, then that is good enough for me. Like I said, she called and the message started with her asking for my help. My fear was that something happened to her, but that was not the case. It was for another coworker of hers, we will call P, whose job was eliminated. Unlike the others I have helped, I know this person.

To say I find this person a lecherous scum sucking gutter whore I think would be a kind assessment. Ego maniacal d#@k head would be another. In short I don't like him, and based on the 5 years and half dozen or so encounters I have had with him, I don't see my opinion
changing. D, my very dear friend, was asking if I could help him.

This is raising several moral quandaries for me. First and foremost why would she be friends with him? How could she like this guy? Even stranger, how could she and I, who have so much in common have such wildly differing opinions of the same person? D and I agree on
everything, sans P. It just doesn't make sense; it almost makes me question my friendship with her.

Second, what do I tell her about my willingness to help him? I had talked to friends of hers before, and just last week I offered to do the same, although I warned her that my division doesn't have many openings. Do I tell her that now I am not available to talk? If I do,
what is the reason? Did I suddenly get too busy or do I tell her the truth? I don't want to offend her, but at the same time I don't wish to assist someone whom I think personifies some of the worst qualities a person can possess.

I admit I am experiencing some "shameful joy" at P's misfortune. I am trying to keep it check by focusing on this new dynamic in my friendship with D. If anyone has some advice or an opinion on the Grown Up thing to do, please let me know.  I think the correct course of action is to tell D I can not help P because of my past history with him (without getting into details or calling him a rectal wart on the face of humanity). Obviously she did not know the history of how I felt; to just not answer without a reason would be rude.

But if anyone else has another opinion (preferably one where I tell P off!) let me know.

Malicious in Minneapolis

Arrgh! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Today be Sept 19th, also known as International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Arrggghhh!). In honor of this most glorious of holidays, I present to ye, the top-20 songs about Pirating (brought to us by our good friends at Top-5).

Enjoy mateys!

The Top 20 Songs to Play on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

20. I Feel Piratey

19. Paint It, Blackbeard

18. Some Kind of Plunderful

17. No Wench, No Cry

16. Arrrr-E-S-P-E-C-T

15. This Plank Was Made for Walkin'

14. Fight for Your Right to Pillage

13. Me Hearties Will Go On

12. 50 Ways to Cleave Yer Lubber

11. Aye Will Survive

10. Arrrr! You're Lonesome Tonight!

9. Tainted Rum

8. You Arrrr So Booty-ful

7. Who Poured the Grog Out?

6. Hot Pegs

5. Planks for the Enemies

4. Can't Take My Eye Off of You

3. I Guess That's Why They Call 'Em Doubloons

2. Mateys, I'm Amazed

and the Number 1 Song to Play on International Talk Like a Pirate Day...

1. I Still Haven't Found What This Hook Is For

Palin Baby Name Generator

New link on the side: A name generator is Sarah Palin was your mother:

Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator

Thanks Liz for forwarding this one on.

Enjoy
Jim

The Fratellis

This has been a good week for concerts for me. Last night I got to see Journey at the Target Center, with their new lead singer Arnel "the Thriller from Manila" Pineda.

I had read the stories about how they discovered him on YouTube from his concerts in the Philippines. I read that he was good, and could almost perfectly imitate the vocals of former Journey front man Steve Perry. After seeing him live, I think he is better. When he sang, I thought it was Steve Perry - aside from the fact Arnel looked to be about 4' 10", he didn't have a mullet, and that he is from the Philippines. But beyond that, he was spot on. What really set him apart is this guy put on a show. I have never been to a night club in Manila, but I imagine you better be entertaining, fast, or you will not last long.

Whenever I think of Journey, and specifically the song "Lovin, Touchin, Feelin" I think back to the time I tried to sing along in the car on the way to work. It was somewhere about the point when I tried to hit the really high notes, that a noticed the car next to me. It was filled with four women with whom I worked. They were watching me. And cheering. It was embarrassing. I was leaving that job in a few weeks to go to grad school. I never said goodbye to them or anyone else on that side of the floor.

It was fun going to a show where I was younger than the average age of the audience. It was a total MILF-fest last night, with drunken suburbanites everywhere. At least they used lighters instead of their cell phones to light up the arena. Never liked that change - back in my day, you burned your fingers to show your appreciation for the band (dadgumit!). The average age also had an unintended benefit. I got carded - sorta. I was asked for my ID when I got a beer. I asked if he was carding everybody; he said "basically, but you have a young face." I am not sure if that counts or not. I think it will.

But for me, the real concert hit was the week before, when I saw The Fratellis at First Ave. Thanks to Minnesota's Public Radio station, The Current, I first heard this band play. Based on one song I bought the album. Then their second release. They have quickly become my new favorite band.

The Fratellis are a Scottish trio, who started playing together just a few years ago. They quickly got signed by a label, put out an album that went to #2 in the UK in 3 weeks, won the award for Best British Breakthrough band. They have been very successful in a very short time together. In terms of sound, they have a sound which is not extremely different than any other alternative bands. I think what makes them great is they understand music is supposed to be fun.

To paraphrase the B52's, Rock and Roll is not supposed to be depressing; it is supposed to be entertaining, a bit silly and always fun. In comparison, practically every Journey song was a long slow ballad, very sappy and pulling at the emotions. All their songs, while memorable and crowd favorites, could all be classified as cheesy and are open for ridicule. We like the Journey songs, but we hate to admit it. We live in fear that someone will see us singing along (or run and hide after we have been caught).

The Fratellis have no slow, sad ballads, no angst ridden songs, no anger, just songs you want to hear again and again. Plus, they have fun when they play. I encourage everyone who hasn't seen a good show in a while, check them out. For any of my good friends, go see them, and if you don't enjoy yourself, I will personally refund the price of admission. You will not be disappointed.

Enjoy

www.thefratellis.com

Second helping of cool-aid

So I got an iPhone, and it has been fun. I am just starting to play
around with it and I can see that it will be at black hole for free
time.

I am posting this from my phone, so hopefully this will work. I don't
have too much to say and nothing of even
mild interest, except that I think the most obnoxious letter combo for
a license plate is "ULQ". Saw that one last night driving home.

Sent from my iPhone

Under the microscope

Last night I went to downtown St. Paul to catch some of the activity surround the RNC and all the foolishness of the anarchists. Sadly (?) it was disappointing. I have easy access to gas masks, so I was kinda hoping something might happen - I think it would have made for a fun posting for the blog. Instead, all I saw there was a ton of cops and some silly protesters, and not much else. I think they were mainly locals. They were all very respectful and nice.

The biggest incident almost was caused by me. In the crowd behind the CNN outdoor stage, a woman was holding a sign saying "9/11 was an inside job". I wanted to punch her in the mouth, really hard. I have never thought of hitting a woman, but at the time, I thought it was a really good idea for my friend Dan McNeal and all the other people who died that day. I didn't though. I walked off all my anger by going the long, LONG, way around the Xcel center to meet Liz for a beer (or two).

I got home to watch Sarah Palin's speech. I thought she did a good job - better than I expected. I though she was a token female pick at first. But after hearing her story - mother of a pregnant teen, a son who is going to Iraq, and a child with health problems - I realized she has more in common with middle America and a better understanding of their problems then either of the presidential picks.

When she was talking about her kids, I was trying to figure out who the dude was sitting next to her daughter. After she introduced her son who is going to Iraq, I (slowly) realized that the other guy must be her daughters baby-daddy. Yep, Levi Johnston himself. I don't know that I would have wanted him on stage. I don't know whose call that was, but I can not think of it as a "good idea". Last week this was a minor scandal in a minor state; now he is on display for America to see.

I thought back to when I was in high school and picking up dates and having to meet their father. Nothing in a young man's life is more terrifying or character building. All men dread and fear the punks who ask out their daughters because they know they know these young men have only one thing on their mind. I have been warning my niece since the time she was born that outside of daddy, all boys are bad and should be avoided. They can't be trusted, I tell her, but does she listen. No. She smiles and laughs. My hair turns grey.

To Barack Obama's credit, he has said this subject is off limits. Still, everyone knows. With all of America watching I had to think to myself "Yeah, in comparison, I didn't have to put up with jack s#it as a teen."