Monday, October 27, 2008

Men's Restroom Etiquette: locking the door


So the other day I am having lunch at a local joint, and I go to the men's room. It is a small place with a small restroom, but with a big problem for me. It has both a urinal and a stall, but no division between the two. The problem is, what is protocol in this situation:

Do I lock the door or not?

To clarify, there are separate men's and women's rooms. The men's room was square and big enough got two people but there would be no privacy between the two. I only had to use the urinal, so do I lock the door and hog the bathroom to myself?  Why should I take all the spoils, just because I was first on the scene (or the guy with the smaller bladder)?

If there were dividers, it is a no brainer; you leave it unlocked. Call it courtesy among guys. You should not hoard and leave others with none. But, this was not the case. Granted, I only had to go #1, and there is the space and outlet if someone else needed to do the same, so I should leave it unlocked. But what if that wasn't the case? What if the person who joins me has more, um, serious work to do? I don't think I want then in here with me; if the roles were reversed, I know I wouldn't want to join them.

But do I preemptively lock the door, just to prevent others from taking this unlikely unsocial behavior? There is no joke to this post.  Just looking for opinions and  clarification.

And yes, I did lock the door. 

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Stalkin' the suburbs


Last week Ben Folds, of Ben Folds Five fame came to the Twin Cities. In his previous concerts here, he had played at First Ave, where Prince got his start. This time, true to Ben's persona, he played at the Myth, out in the Suburbs. There are only a few places to get food out by Myth, and most of them are chains. We went to the least chain-line of the places, and whom is there having dinner, Mr. Ben Folds himself!

We wanted to get his photo, but we didn't want to bug when he was eating. My friend Anne had the good idea to make a deal. We would pick up the bill, if he would come by so we could meet him and get his photo. It was all arranged by the wait staff, and came out without a hitch. His bill was very modest, but the rest of us at the table didn't even pick it up. Anne took charge. We could get in the photo, but there was no way we were going to be paying for the bill.
When Ben came by, he could not have been nicer or more appreciative for such a simple gesture. Despite his sarcastic songs and persona, he was very polite and appreciative. We got a few photos of him, thanked him for coming to town and said goodbye. Joe asked if he was going to play "Kate" tonight. It was fairly obvious from his reaction, that he was not, although he did not say so in so many words.
We got to Myth (my first time there - it was really nice!), and the show was good. He played a lot of newer songs that I had not heard, but he told the audience not to worry, and that he would be playing older songs later. As the show went on, he took a pause, talked to the band and said, "I met some nice folks tonight and they asked for this song. Thanks again" and he busts into Kate.
Five people squeezed into a spot on the floor went wild.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Scotch Tape

For those of us who play with tape to much, this is really disturbing news. I gotta start worrying about cancer of the fingers. From the New York times:

------------------------------------------------
From a Strip of Scotch Tape, X-Rays
By KENNETH CHANG
Published: October 23, 2008

In a tour de force of office supply physics, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, have shown that it is possible to produce X-rays by simply unrolling Scotch tape.

Next step: nuclear fusion.

“We’re going to do that,” said Seth J. Putterman, a professor of physics at U.C.L.A. “I think it will work.”

But first, X-rays.

In the current issue of the journal Nature, Dr. Putterman and his colleagues report that surprisingly fierce flows of electrons were unleashed as the tape was unpeeled and its gooey adhesive snapped free of the surface. The electrical currents, in turn, generated strong, short bursts of X-rays — each burst, about a billionth of a second long, contained about 300,000 X-ray photons.

“Some kind of microscopic lightning effect,” Dr. Putterman said.

The scientists even demonstrated that the X-rays were bright enough to take an X-ray of a finger.

That does not mean that tape dispensers on office desks are mini X-ray machines. So far, the phenomenon has been observed only when the tape is unpeeled in a vacuum. Something about air — perhaps moisture — short-circuits the X-rays.

The work is not unprecedented. In 1939, scientists demonstrated that peeling tape emits visible light – an easy experiment anyone can conduct in a closet. But visible light photons have only about one-10,000th the energy of an X-ray photon.

Russian scientists reported as far back as 1953 that they had detected X-rays from tape. “But as far as I can tell, no one ever believed them,” Dr. Putterman said. “It was a big surprise to discover this deep dark corner of past research.”

All of the experiments were conducted with Scotch tape, manufactured by 3M. The details of what is occurring on the molecular scale to generate high-energy photons are not known, the scientists said, in part because the Scotch tape adhesive remains a trade secret.

Other brands of clear adhesive tapes also gave off X-rays, but with a different spectrum of energies. Duct tape did not produce any X-rays, Dr. Putterman said. The scientists have not yet tested masking tape.

The research opens up the possibility of looking for similar X-ray emissions from composite materials as they fatigue. Such materials, increasingly used in airplanes and automobiles, are stronger and lighter than many metals, but they do not show the visible weaknesses that metals do before breaking.

The tape phenomenon could also lead to simple medical devices using bursts of electrons to destroy tumors. The scientists are looking to patent their ideas.

And finally, there’s the possibility of nuclear fusion. If the energy from the breaking adhesive could be directed away from the electrons to heavy hydrogen ions implanted in modified tape, the ions would accelerate fast enough so that when they collided, they could fuse together and give off energy — the same process that lights the sun.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Let Carol Anne Rest in Peace

I am going to make it a personal quest to rid the TV world of the Direct TV advertisement that parodies the movie "Poltergeist". You know the one, where little Carol Anne is in front of the TV, says "they're here!" and then Craig T. Nelson goes into his pitch for Direct TV. This ad should be banned and the creative talent bound, gagged, stripped, tar and feathered and possibly hung.

It is not because of this now acceptable practice of refashioning popular movies and personalities to shlock crap on TV. It was bad enough having Fred Astaire dance with a vacuum cleaner, but I could live with that (just barely). No, the reason I hate this one is the use of Heather O'Rourke, better known for her movie role as the little blond girl, Carol Anne Freeling.

Heather O'Rourke began acting at a young age, getting discovered for her first role at age 6. After appearing in TV, she was cast as the youngest daughter in the first "Poltergeist" movie, which made her an instant hit. She went on to star in "Poltergeist II" and was filming "Poltergeist III" when she developed what doctor's thought was flu like symptoms. According to her Bio on IMDB, On Feb 1, 1988, she fainted on the floor. When the paramedics arrived, she insisted she was okay, and tried to convince everyone she was okay for school. On the way to the hospital she suffered cardiac arrest; she died later that day at the age of 12.
When stars get older, and their prospects start drying up, they can be excused for cashing in on their popularity (like Craig T. Nelson - when was the last time he did anything that wasn't a voice over?). But not Heather O'Rourke. I find it tough to watch the movies now, knowing what happened to her (and the older sister from the first movie, Dominique Dunne. Remember her? She wasn't in the second movie. Murdered by her boyfriend).
In the movie, "Crimes and Misdemeanors", Alan Arkin plays a scum-bag producer whose main saying is that comedy is "Pain + Time". "You couldn't make fun of Oedipus right away.... it took centuries for it to become funny." As unscrupulous as his character in that movie was, he has a point. It will be a long time before I think resurrecting Carol Anne will ever be considered funny.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Anatomy of a Rumor


Week zero: 
It all started on a Friday afternoon.  D had stopped by my desk to chat.  I was walking to the cafeteria with her, when she leans in and asks, "have you heard the latest?"

No, I had not heard any rumors, but without her saying another word, I already knew who the rumors would be about.

There is a senior executive at the company where we work, who is, shall we say, not popular.  For this story, we will call this person V.  I have not had any meaningful direct contact with V, but from the contact I have had, I do not have a high opinion of V and I look forward to the day he or she will either (a) leave or (b) retire.

My opinions are shared by many others, too, which is why I guessed that "the latest" had to do with V.  Rumors of V's demise have been gossip fodder for years.  They have come and gone, with no substance behind them.  The first time I heard the rumor, I was excited by the prospect and the promise of a better day.  After the third or fourth time the rumors had made the rounds, I became like one of the townsfolk in "The boy who cried wolf", numb to their veracity.
  
As it turns out, "the latest" was on V, and like the rumors of the past, V would be leaving soon.  I didn't ask for D's source.  In the rumor spreading world, you don't ask.  Call it professional  courtesy.  Bob Woodword kept the identity of Deep Throat from Ben Bradley and Katherine Graham.  Besides, D has high credibility in my book. 

Week 1: Monday
I had mentioned the rumor to a friend, G, over the weekend.  G is working at my employer as a contract employee, on a project whose funding is dependent on V's support.  I felt I had to give him a heads up on the rumor, so that he might be able to find another assignment just in case the rumors were true.  On Monday, G used the internal instant messaging program, Sametime, to send me a note, to see if there was any more on the rumors.  I had almost forgotten about it, until his note.  I forgot that G, being new to the organization, was not immune to the rumor spreading.  No, I told him, nothing more had been said.

Week 1: Friday
I had lunch with K, a coworker in the division and a notorious rumor spreader.  Friday is a good day to catch up on news and the latest happenings, so I figured this would be a good chance to see what he knows.  K had spread a rumor of V's departure earlier in the year, claiming that V was being kicked out in a special board meeting.  There was in fact a special board meeting going on, but it was not to kick out V.  It was to change our retirement benefits, a far worse outcome than V's removal.

I asked K if he had heard any new rumors.  No he had not heard any rumors, and I could tell he was hurt, as there was a rumor circulating and he was not the source (or the cause).  This was slightly disturbing.  As I said, K spreads lots of rumors; most of the time he is just fishing for info.  Had he known about this particular rumor, it would have been easy to dismiss.  But as he looked at me with stunned silence, I began to think that maybe there was some truth to it.  I did not share with him what the rumor was; I consider myself a master of deflection, and I was able to change the topic quickly to something else.

Week 2:  Wednesday
I am in a Fantasy Football league with a lot of friends from the old corporate marketing group.  A funny consequence of my new job is that there are a lot of private calls I have to make.  Before, my office used to be wide open with people coming in and out; now, it is often closed.  Everyone assumes it is because of a deal I am working on.  In effect, yes this is true, but my deals lately have involved moving Steven Jackson off my roster for a quarterback.  Today my door was closed for another reason.  

I got a call from a friend in another division, we will call him F.  F also knows D, and is similarly well connected.  We had been trying to work out a fantasy deal over Sametime, but we were getting nowhere.  Still, we wanted to keep the conversation going so we might be able to reach an agreement. F pings me a note asking if I have "heard anything."  

Being paranoid over the monitoring systems at work, F gives me a call. What have I heard?  Same thing as you - V is on their way out.  I ask him what has he heard and who is his source. Courtesy be damned, I need to see if this is coming from D, or if this is a new source.  F heard V was being removed, the reason being a HR violation.  His source was someone from a division where neither D nor I work.  I share with him that I had heard the same rumor, but I didn't have a reason.  I also shared with him the division where my source originated, but not their name.  We promised to keep each other informed of any new developments.  An alliance was struck, at least in the rumor department.  As far as football, we were no where closer to making a deal (Steven Smith for Philip Rivers?  Pfft - forget it!)

Week 2: Friday
The rumor mill is in full effect today.  The rumblings of this week have gone into overdrive.  A coworker, O, came by to talk and hear if I have heard anything.  Yes, I have. He has heard the same rumor, but from two different people.  

One is from someone in a corporate staff function that heard the HR violation rumor, but with a new twist.  It had something to due with V's divorce.  Apparently, V's house was for sale.  We had all heard the stories that V had gotten a divorce, and that he or she was active on the on-line dating circuit.  

The on-line dating rumor for V was another rumor we had heard earlier in the year.  I had never seen it, but apparently, V had a profile up on-line for a while, until someone from corporate had advised them to take it down.  I had not seen this profile, but I was told it was open for the public to see.  Some of V's turn ons included erotica and an Asian fetish. I never believed this rumor, and when pressed, none of the rumor spreaders had actually seen it either.  But, they reassured me, they had good friends at work who had.

O's second source was a call from one of our sales managers in Chicago.  They heard the rumor from one of our distributors and customers.  It wasn't internal anymore; folks outside the company heard it too, so the rumor must be true!  Or so the thinking went this Friday.

Week 3:  Tuesday
I have lunch with J, a good friend who works in a division different from me or any of my fellow other rumor spreaders.  J and I usually have so much to talk about, that work never comes up, until today.  Tis the power of the rumors.  

She had heard the same rumors, and J in fact had a run in with V on the elevator not too long ago.  A creepy run in, too.  Without going into details, you could see why V is a target.  I don't think V is a bad person, but their mannerisms are such that it can lead you to thinking that they could participate in unsavory behavior.  Like the Richard Gere rumors, there is something about him which makes you think, maybe it is true...

J says that the rumor she heard was that V's contract would not be renewed when it expired, whenever that might be. 

Week 3: Wednesday
F calls with an update on the HR violation.  Apparently, V is being fired for downloading massive amounts of pornography on their work computer.  A few years ago, a sting operation at work fired six people, who had a massive porno file swapping operation going on.  This story I know is true; I know one of the people who got fired and several of the people who were hired to replace them.  The company takes this matter very seriously; almost every website is blocked by the "blue screen" of death which lets know when you hit something with racy content.  And it keeps count, too.

Suddenly, the rumor is now coming into focus.  It all added up:  The divorce, the online dating where V admitted a fondness for erotica, the previous terminations for pornography.... it was all making sense now.  We were through the looking glass, people.  How could we have been so blind for so long?  Everyone was convinced that it was only a matter of time before V was let go.  The question was when.  All the signs pointed to Friday.

Week 3: Thursday
Work in our area is suffering as the rumors are the hot topic of conversation.  The "porno rumor" was by far the most popular, which evoked the response of "why didn't V download it on their home computer, like any decent person would?"  

Still, there were proponents of the "contract not being renewed" theory.  This would fit the Minnesota mold better; rather than taking direct action or causing a disturbance, we just wait it out and then let them go without an explanation.  

Week 3:  Friday
This was D-day, the day it was all supposed to go down.  Depending on whose rumor you heard or believed, V would be let go today.  Plans were underway within the division for a celebratory happy hour, which might start at noon. 

12 noon had been the popular consensus of when the termination would take place, though others insisted it would not be till end of day.  Some rumor spreaders said it would be earlier in the day, like at 10 am.  And according to one report, V had in fact been escorted out of the building already, after being given 5 minutes to clean our his or her desk.  

In any event, this was to be the day.

Yet nothing happened.  The day passed by without incident.  Not a peep.  Calls were made to contacts, but nothing happened.  V was still here.  No escorting occurred.

Week 4: Monday
Inquiries began and the news wires were being checked to see if something had been released externally before it hit the internal employees.  This has happened before.  I have received eMails from friends outside the company who ask me about major personnel changes that they have read about on news sites, which had not yet been released on the internal systems.  But nothing was discovered.  

Reliable contacts were in short supply. Questions were being asked, but no answers were forthcoming.

Week 4: Wednesday
People were still asking questions; how could V still be here?   Was everyone wrong?  How could this have happened?  All the evidence was there and it all made sense? Did we get the wrong week?  Would it be this Friday, not last?  

Week 4: Friday
No termination for V this week.  We rumor spreaders were still despondent.  How could we have been so wrong?  It was like a challenge to our faith, like we had been worshiping the wrong god.

Supporters of the "contract theory" were still holding out.  Apparently, V's contract ran through the end of the year, so he or she would not be released until then.  For the rest who believed the other theories, the reality set in that V would be here a bit longer.  The celebration had been premature.  The boy had falsely cried wolf again.

Week 5:
Everyone's attention moved from the rumors to the company's falling stock price, which was mirroring the overall crash on Wall Street.  At this point, it was still early in the crisis, so we would not realize how bad the situation would be (or has yet to become).  We went back to work as normal.  Even if V had been fired, the work we had been avoiding still had to be done.

Some time this week we get a company wide eMail from V regarding the crisis on Wall Street and our company's financial position.  You could tell from the size of the file that this would be a very long eMail.  I read through it to see if there would be any hint which indicated they would be leaving.  But no, no hint, nor any inkling of a hint that V was going anywhere.  Just like the company where we work, both of them had taken hits, but nobody was going anywhere.

The eMail was a bit confusing, though.  A lot of discussion on a lot of topics that were not very well structured.  I discussed it with a former manager, L, who also had trouble grasping the note the first time through.  L and I are on a friendly basis, though because he was my manager in the past, we have never moved completely into a casual friendship.  Our relationship is still businesslike.  I never spoke with him about the rumors and stories; our talk is more about the issues facing the division.  

After much discussion of the eMail, we agreed that a lot of it could have been cut out and trimmed down.  As we were wrapping up,  L leaned over and said, "you know, when I saw the size of the file, I figured V must have included some of the porn they had downloaded.  You know, if you believe all the rumors."

Manners 101: Retail Checkout


Lately I have been noticing a sharp decline in overall manners.  No matter what the scene or situation, behavior I would not have imagined passing 20 years ago is becoming more and more acceptable today.  This is probably an inevitable consequence of me getting older and possibly crankier, but I am not longer going to hold back on this topic.  Good manners allow for a functioning society, and I aim to be keep that society functioning.

This will be the first in what will inevitably be a long series of rants about bad behavior as I see it existing in the world today.  This latest incident happened the other day when I was checking out of a retail store.  

I had stopped into a card store on Thursday night.  It was at the Mall of America, on a slow night, in a store that specializes in cards - and only cards.  This wasn't a Hallmark, but one of those fancy shamsy places, that annoy me with their prices but that do have good nice cards.  

I am the only person in the store, aside from the woman behind the register who was on the phone.  She didn't welcome me, which is fine  and I can live with; I tend to find that can be annoying, especially if you know where you are going in the store (don't get in my way and slow me down).  I pick out the cards I want and head to the register.  The woman has been on the phone the whole time.  

I get to the register and she rings up the cards, without ever getting off the phone.  While talking, she points to the screen to let me know the price.  I give her the cash, which she rings up, sets the change on the counter and cards in a bag, never once saying anything to me, even a thank you or have a nice day.  No apology for being on the phone was given.  

Some clarifications on this situation.  This was not a work call the woman was taking, but a personal call.  From the details I picked out, it involved where she, the other person on the phone, and a group of friends would be having dinner on Saturday night.  Apparently, there was a dispute on eating establishments.  The pro-Italian camp was winning.  Second, this was not a young kid.  This woman was in her late 40's or 50's.  In other words, she should know better.  She grew up in a world where you didn't have instant access to a phone.  Messages and retuned calls were commonplace in her youth.  Could she not have at least put down the phone tell me the three cards I was buying would cost me $10.25 (yeah, expensive cards store).

This goes both ways, now.  I find it equally rude when people who are checking out of a store do the same to cashiers.  It shows contempt for the other person; they are not worthy of being acknowledged or recognized as people.  Exceptions exists to this broad statement, but accommodations can be made.  Once I received an emergency call as I was checking out at the grocery store.  I was clearly distracted when I took the call, and I didn't put the phone down, but I silently mouthed an apology to the cashier.  She could tell from my tone that something had just seriously gone wrong, and she did not take offense to this behavior. Parents with kids can also be given a break, too.  From what little I know on the subject, it is a tough job and one I could not imagine how they are able to juggle it all, and I think societty rightly gives them a pass in these situations, too.  In most situations however, I think a pause in the call is acceptable.  

Technology is a wonderful thing, and has made our lives easier than in any other time in human history.  It also has an insulating effect separating us from contact with other human beings.  It allows us to perform myriad of activities with no other contact, which is not the nature of people.  Whether you believe in evolution or intelligent design, both camps would acknowledge that humans survived because we were social creatures, who worked together and coexisted in order to survive the harshness of the world around us.

Once I got a call about a social event that night.  I was in line at a nice store, buying clothes.  I kept my conversation private, but when it came time for me to check out, I apologized to the person on the phone, and asked to call them back in a moment.  I then apologized the clerk, who politely thanked me and said not to worry about it.  Out of curiosity I asked, with the astronomical increase in mobile phone usage, if people still hung up calls when checking out.  He smiled, looked at me thoughtfully and said, not as much as they used to do.  I finished my transaction and called my friend back.  It amounted to less than a 5 minute pause in the evenings planning; to show a little kindness, respect and acknowledgement of our fellow human beings, I think it was worth the wait.

Good night and good manners.