Lately I have been noticing a sharp decline in overall manners. No matter what the scene or situation, behavior I would not have imagined passing 20 years ago is becoming more and more acceptable today. This is probably an inevitable consequence of me getting older and possibly crankier, but I am not longer going to hold back on this topic. Good manners allow for a functioning society, and I aim to be keep that society functioning.
This will be the first in what will inevitably be a long series of rants about bad behavior as I see it existing in the world today. This latest incident happened the other day when I was checking out of a retail store.
I had stopped into a card store on Thursday night. It was at the Mall of America, on a slow night, in a store that specializes in cards - and only cards. This wasn't a Hallmark, but one of those fancy shamsy places, that annoy me with their prices but that do have good nice cards.
I am the only person in the store, aside from the woman behind the register who was on the phone. She didn't welcome me, which is fine and I can live with; I tend to find that can be annoying, especially if you know where you are going in the store (don't get in my way and slow me down). I pick out the cards I want and head to the register. The woman has been on the phone the whole time.
I get to the register and she rings up the cards, without ever getting off the phone. While talking, she points to the screen to let me know the price. I give her the cash, which she rings up, sets the change on the counter and cards in a bag, never once saying anything to me, even a thank you or have a nice day. No apology for being on the phone was given.
Some clarifications on this situation. This was not a work call the woman was taking, but a personal call. From the details I picked out, it involved where she, the other person on the phone, and a group of friends would be having dinner on Saturday night. Apparently, there was a dispute on eating establishments. The pro-Italian camp was winning. Second, this was not a young kid. This woman was in her late 40's or 50's. In other words, she should know better. She grew up in a world where you didn't have instant access to a phone. Messages and retuned calls were commonplace in her youth. Could she not have at least put down the phone tell me the three cards I was buying would cost me $10.25 (yeah, expensive cards store).
This goes both ways, now. I find it equally rude when people who are checking out of a store do the same to cashiers. It shows contempt for the other person; they are not worthy of being acknowledged or recognized as people. Exceptions exists to this broad statement, but accommodations can be made. Once I received an emergency call as I was checking out at the grocery store. I was clearly distracted when I took the call, and I didn't put the phone down, but I silently mouthed an apology to the cashier. She could tell from my tone that something had just seriously gone wrong, and she did not take offense to this behavior. Parents with kids can also be given a break, too. From what little I know on the subject, it is a tough job and one I could not imagine how they are able to juggle it all, and I think societty rightly gives them a pass in these situations, too. In most situations however, I think a pause in the call is acceptable.
Technology is a wonderful thing, and has made our lives easier than in any other time in human history. It also has an insulating effect separating us from contact with other human beings. It allows us to perform myriad of activities with no other contact, which is not the nature of people. Whether you believe in evolution or intelligent design, both camps would acknowledge that humans survived because we were social creatures, who worked together and coexisted in order to survive the harshness of the world around us.
Once I got a call about a social event that night. I was in line at a nice store, buying clothes. I kept my conversation private, but when it came time for me to check out, I apologized to the person on the phone, and asked to call them back in a moment. I then apologized the clerk, who politely thanked me and said not to worry about it. Out of curiosity I asked, with the astronomical increase in mobile phone usage, if people still hung up calls when checking out. He smiled, looked at me thoughtfully and said, not as much as they used to do. I finished my transaction and called my friend back. It amounted to less than a 5 minute pause in the evenings planning; to show a little kindness, respect and acknowledgement of our fellow human beings, I think it was worth the wait.
Good night and good manners.
No comments:
Post a Comment