My Oscar Diary

My play by play account of tonight's Oscars, unedited for your amusement:

I never knew Hugh Jackman could sing and dance?  I guess he was famous on Broadway, but I just think of him as Wolverine.  Dancing doesn't suit the X-Man

Too much self-serving aggrandizement by the Academy, not enough time for the minor award winners to talk

Bad form showing shots of Brangelina while Jennifer Aniston is presenting.  Very bad form.

What was with the caveman skit with Ben Stiller before the cinematography award?  It is a major award - show some f-ing respect.

What was with the "Comedy" skit they did?  I don't think half the movies shown were comedies.  Maybe in the classic sense, in that nobody died, but come one - "Doubt?".

At a minimum, you should be able to pronounce the names of the people who are nominated for your category.  Shame on you James Franco and Seth Rogen.

Nice speech by Heath's family.  Thank goodness they didn't ding them with the music.

What was the music they were playing during costume design and art direction?  If that was the signal to speed up the presentation of the names, you failed miserably.  They had to talk over the music, slowing things down even more.

Can it Bill Maher.  You are fricking wanna be.  Your best role ever was in "DC Cab".  It has been downhill ever since then.  Zip it.  

Nice impromptu magic trick and speech by Man on Wire.

What is with Philip Seymour Hoffman's hat?  He ain't in Minnesota.  

I didn't know Kevin Kline won an Oscar for "A fish called Wanda".

I really like the retrospective on all the people who died in the last year.  I think that is my favorite part.

Jerry Lewis - I don't like him, but he gave a good acceptance speech.  A damn good speech.

Nobody seems to like my pick of Robert Downey Jr over Mickey Rourke for "Comeback Award winner".  Maybe I did miss the mark on that one.

Slumdog is rolling.  Unbelievable.  What happened to the Wrestler?  I said it before, Oscar likes happy movies.  Must be payback for last year's wins by "No Country for Old Men" and "There Will Be Blood".

I am digging the all the Japanese acceptance speeches.  It is tough to pull of humor when you don't speak the language, but they are 2 for 2.

They screwed up my favorite part of the Awards - the "in memory" section on everyone who died in the last year.  What was with the fricking moving camera angles (got me nauseous).  Plus, the shot was so far away and moving, you couldn't see half the names.  And this was a big year for death - Paul Newman, Roy Scheider, Sydney Pollack, Ricardo Montalban, Issac Hayes, Charlton Heston - plus many, many others.  And why didn't they mention Heath Ledger?  He died in 2008?  Tip to the producers, pick a stationary angle and let us reflect.  Plus - clue to the audience, you applaud for people who died, you don't cheer (Yeah!  They're dead!!  Woo Hoo!!!).  Frickin morons.  

Too much self serving promotions by the Oscars, taking too much time away from acceptance speeches.

What is the deal with having more than two presenters on stage at a time.  It was good when they had Stephen Speilberg, George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola present the Best Director award to Martin Scorsese, but that was an exception.  Guy had been nominated so many times, and he was the clear favorite.  Now, they will have multiple presenters just to kiss the @ss of whoever is hot right now.

What is with Sophia Loren?  Is she made of plastic?

Jeepers - now they are doing five presenters for Actors.  Oh great - DeNiro is talking about Penn's political activism.  Why don't you tell everybody about his support for Venezuela's Hugo Chaves?  Don't mix entertainment with politics.  

Sean Penn wins best line at the Oscars "I know I make it tough for you to like me."

What happened to "The Wrestler?"  Wow - no love for this movie?  I thought Mickey was a shoe in for Best Actor.

After many years of screwing up, the Academy finally gets it right:  Best Director-Best Picture-Editing went to the same movie.