My mischievous 2008 Plan

Thanks to all of you I have leaned on for help in the job search; so far no changes to report, though I did go on some interviews before Christmas.  It did not work out, but I am happy I did not get the offer.  I don't think I could have worked for the hiring manager, so I was relieved that he didn't want me either.  It prevented me from having to say no to him.  

I was asked by several folks over the Christmas Break if I had quit.  I think my initial eMails out made it seem like I did leave, but I am still working at 3M.  My job has changed, so that now I am doing a fraction of what I was doing (and it just happens to be the part of my job I didn't like), but I did not quit.  I am pretty bad when I don't have much to do at work; I am even worse when I don't have a job at all.  I admire the folks who can quit with nothing lined up.  I wish I had their confidence.

I did, however, suggest that my job should be eliminated.  Twice actually.  Once to HR and once to our Director.  The first time I brought it to HR, I think I caught her off guard.  She suggested that if I was unhappy, that I look to further job training on 3M's expense, like getting an MBA.  Thanks - been there done that, but let me know if you want to pay for the one I got, retroactively.  The second time for the Director, I prepared a better story.  It actually started out on another topic; with our reorganization, I could see a problem emerging that I was trying to prevent.  From there it led to a discussion of my responsibilities.  I shared with them my calculation of how much of a person is needed for my job.  It ranged from (1) Full Time Equivalent (FTE) to 0.3 of a person.  It was dependent on how some tasks were broken up and that was being generous.  With the problem of the meeting being resolved, my responsibilities were on the low end of the scale, so I looked at my director and suggested since there was not much for me to do that my job should be eliminated.

It was one of those moments I didn't realize what I was saying until it was said, but even after I said it, I wasn't really worried.  He had not thought of this as an option. I brought this up to him, so obviously, he was not prepared to can me on the spot.  He did not take offense to my suggestion, but I think he was caught off guard.  I didn't say anything offensive; I brought it up like any other decision we have to make on a daily basis, this one just happened to be surrounding my future employment with Mother Mining comp.  In reality, all I said was I could be doing much more than my current role and that he should give me more responsibilities.  No manager could take offense to that.

As it turns out, I didn't get let go.  In fact everyone in the meeting took it in turn to say what a value I was to the organization (doing what, I am not sure), and then after the meeting each one stopped by my office to reassure me one on one that there was a role for me here and that I was necessary within the division.  I really appreciated this (whether or not I believe it), and I give my new boss a lot of credit for trying to work with me to find a way to make this job more substantial. In the end, though, nothing has changed so far and I have my doubts anything will for me here.

It did raise an interesting situation for me.  I had just told my boss, the director, and everyone else reporting to the director that I think I should be fired, and they didn't do it.  To me, this brings up the intriguing possibility that there is not much I can't do or get away with at work right now.  Outside of committing a criminal act, I don't think I can be fired.  I don't have enough responsibilities to be incompetent, and with the limited budget I have I can't cause major damage to our financials.  I show up late, I leave early, I check my fantasy football team (or rather I checked - d@mn crappy team!  Just wait till next year!).  I am getting to the gym a lot more and I am catching up on eMails to friends.  What work I have to do is getting done.  I am actually making up projects for myself to do, as I have very little to officially do.  I put together my plan for 2008 last week.  If I worked at it hard, I could finish all my goals for the year by April - maybe March if I applied myself.  In any event, I will be short of activities, which will be fun for a while, but it could soon lead to mischief.  

Ahhh, the new year abounds with possibilities.....

Quien es mas 80's?

On my ride home today, as I try to avoid Christmas music, I listened to a collection of 80's music.  I have a weakness for 80's tunes, particularly the one hit wonders.  The really bad ones have a special place in my heart.  I don't know what it is - the hair, the bad outfits, the cheesy lyrics.  Or, it could be based on my friend Dave T's theory of music:  We all believe that popular music hits its peak when we are in High School.  

So I started thinking what band best exemplifies all that was good (and bad) with 80's music?  To answer this question, a few clarifications.  I think of 80's music as the New Wave bands of the UK and their US imitators.  They are typically one hit, or one album fads, that fade out.  Bands like U2 and the Police, while both immensely popular during this time don't qualify.  They both had musical prowess, that went beyond this fad.   Other American bands, like Van Halen, which peaked in the early 80's (admit it - they peaked with "1984".  Claims of liking the Van Hager era music are just a rationalization for buying them) don't qualify either.  They were a rock band that had roots from the 70's; they never got into the 80's scene.  

So who best exemplifies the 80's?  Considering the Hair, the Bad Clothes, the lame dance steps, their Britishness and (at the time unknown) sexual behavior, there is one clear choice in my book:  Wham!

The dynamic duo of George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley (yeah - the other guy) I think are the poster children for music in the decade of excess.  They (and by They I mean George), had the looks the charm, the throngs of teeny-bopper fans.  Good cases can be made for Duran Duran, Culture Club, and the rest, but I am not sure if they capture all the elements of the 80's along with the subsequent visceral reaction that Wham! seems to produce.

Let your vote be heard - please add your comment on who was the best (aka the worst) example of 80's music.

My booger freezing morning

The other morning, I had to get up early to meet someone for a 7:30 am meeting.  Early morning is not my prime time, and certainly not when it is cold and dark outside.  It was an important meeting, so I rallied when I heard the alarm, showered, shaved and got ready for the outdoors.  I knew without checking that it would be cold.  You could hear the wind hallowing, and the night before had been rather brisk.  Actually - the night before was proof that I have lived in Minnesota too long.  I was leaving the gym at about 7 pm talking to a friend, who grew up in New Mexico.  It was grey, overcast, sleeting and according to my car 26 degrees.  We both said as we walked outside, "what a nice evening!"  We were both being serious.

Anyway, when the night before is in the freezing zone, you know it will be worse in the morning.  I walked out to my car, breathed in, and - yep - I had an instant booger freeze.

Now, for those of you who don't or have never lived in a really cold weather environment, let me describe a booger freeze.  In the morning in winter, we all try to do our best with our personal hygiene.  This includes the aforementioned showering and shaving, along with other various body grooming rituals.  While we in the Midwest (AKA the fly-over zone, the sorta square states or (my personal favorite) the fold-over states (named so because we disappear when you fold up a map of the USA)) may lack some sense of style, but that is based on a desire to stay warm.  We know our outfits look ridiculous, but they are warm d@mnit!  We do our best to "clean house" in our nasal passages in the morning, but occasionally, stragglers won't let go.  On those really cold days, boogers will freeze instantly in the nose, creating a solid block of snot in the air intake.  It is quite a shock to the system and can wake you up more than hot cup of coffee.  Frozen booger can hurt quite a bit, and they have brought a tear to my eye, which then starts to freeze.

After years of measurement, I have determined that the precise temperature boogers freeze is 0-degrees Fahrenheit.  This is not dependent on wind chill, as the boogs are protected from sudden gusts.  This temperature finding actually raises an interesting question - what did Fahrenheit base his scale upon and what does 0-degrees represent?

I don't really understand why he came up with the scale he did.  The only number that seems to make sense is 100-degrees, which is what he thought was normal body temperature (close, but not quite).  32-degrees is where water freezes, but why he picked 32 I don't know.  It seems like water freezing is an important reference point, and it makes sense to have an easy to remember point of reference for it - like 0 I would think.  But apparently not. Fahrenheit lived in Northern Europe, and maybe like us Minnesotans, you don't feel really cold at 32 degrees. Maybe to him, the real unpleasantness of the cold didn't occur till your boogers froze up.  Hence, the scale is based on bodily reactions and not the change that occurs in the physical  world - 100 is normal body temp, 0 is a booger freezing day.  And back in his day, he probably did not have easy access to tissue paper, so frozen boogers would have been a major problem.    It is one of those hardships in life you don't read about in the history books.  Such a shame.  It could be fascinating - the impact on our history motivated by a lack of Tissue Paper and Frozen Boogers.  Probably a few minor wars were a result of just this sort of thing.  It is a mystery for the ages.

Take a Sabbatical While You Work

This summer, I spent a lot of time thinking of taking a mental break. Work was busy, stress was high, I wanted a change - but I also realized I was burnt out. There was so much going on at work, combined with my desire to make a change, that I was mentally shutting down. One day I forgot how to start my washing machine. Honestly. I just looked at it for a few minutes, trying every button or knob till something started working. This is not a good sign.

Anyway, I started thinking what would be my ideal job if I needed a mental break. If I was able to take a sabbatical, or just time off from work with no repercussions, what would I do? I couldn't do nothing - or at least not for more than a few weeks. So what would I do if I needed a non-mentally challenging job, that would fill the days, but allow me to recharge. Also, I would want some interaction with the world. I couldn't hide in a cube away from everyone. I would want to communicate and interact with folks, while not being mentally taxed.

I mentioned this to several friends and co-workers, and not suprizingly, all the 3M'ers could relate. I was able to quickly come up with a list of my top-3 non-mentally taxing, socially interactive jobs, which are:

3. Mailman

2. Wheelchair pusher at the Airport

1. Monorail conductor

Now to clarify Mailman, I would want to be one of the guys in the jeeps delivering mail. I don't want to be one of the folks behind the counter, or one that sorts the mail in the back. I want to be one of the guys in the right-hand drive jeeps who get to go to houses. I think I would have fun doing this. "Good morning Mrs. Johnson! Here is your mail. Do you have any outgoing mail today? Have a nice day!" I have a lot of fond memories of my mailman as a kid. I had a Richard Scarry Autograph book as a kid; you were supposed to get different people to sign it. One of them was our mailman - my first autograph he used to say - and I always liked him. Plus I though the jeep was cool.

Wheelchair pusher at the Airport I think would be fun. You would move around all day, get to see new parts of the airport (and MSP is a huge airport!). You would probably get good interaction with people. "Where are you going today? Are you visiting family? I hope the weather is good and you have a nice flight. Take care!" Plus, I get along well with older people. I would also get some exercise in this job and I think it would be great for people watching.

Monorail conductor would be the dream. It would be hard to get the job as there are not many monorails or light rails out there, so I think the competition would be high. If I wanted to do this, I might have to start with a job on the light rail here in Minnie - or move back to Charlotte to work on their new one. Maybe from there I move up to a subway operator - a lot of cities have subways. Then, after building up my resume enough, I would go for the A-List locations - Seattle, Las Vegas, and the Granddaddy of them all - Disney World! I don't know if I could come back from a job like that! Ahhh - it is the dream!

The key of all three of these jobs is that I don't have to think much, I can make polite small talk, I don't have a supervisor looking over my shoulder, and I can be as chatty or as quiet as I want.

Then it hit me. With the recent changes to my job, I don't have much work to do. I came in today at 8:45, had several conversations in the morning, including a 30 minute discussion with Cory about my fantasy football team (which sucks), answered a few phone calls, finished my presentation and I am effectively done for the day at 11:15am. My boss is never here (and by the way - I do like my new boss immensely), and I am able to catch up with my sister when she calls during work, instead of letting it go to voice mail. All of this occurs on a daily basis, and I get paid to do it.

I don't need to take a sabbatical from my job; my new job is a sabbatical.

Packing it up

Latest from the Job Search:  Nothing solid to report, but thanks to help of many friends, I have been networking, with some decent prospects.  For those of you I have leaned on for favors, thanks very much for all the help.

I think the last straw for me at 3M fell Thursday. An internal opportunity, I was hoping would materialize did not come through for me.  It was the last thing I was holding out real hope for that I thought would keep me at Mother Mining. Unfortunately (or fortunately) it isn't going to happen, I found out.  Apparently, I was deemed too valuable in my current job to let go to this role.  

Too valuable to whom and doing what is a mystery to me.  I had been working on the plan to make my job redundant, so I could either (a) be freed up for this opportunity or (b) get a severance package and leave.

Anyway, I found this out from my ex-boss, whom I had a very open discussion about my future at 3M.  I have great respect for my ex-boss and we have had very open discussions including severance package strategies, the offer to let me see his resume for comparison, and a list of the top executive recruiting firms.  I still don't know how to take it - was he being a friend or was he giving me a clue that it was time to leave.  I think he was being a friend, but it was still strange getting this from the person you reported to up to a month ago.  Also, this discussion was an add on topic after we had just finished my yearly review, and he told me he was going to take in a higher rating for me than I had given myself.  This was Thursday morning.

On Friday, the last thing I did was to pack up my personal effects.

For the last few years, I have kept a box by my desk.  The purpose of this box is very simple - to pack up all my stuff in case I decide to quit suddenly.  I didn't want the reason for me not to leave to be some lame @ss excuse - like I didn't have anyway to get my stuff out, I have too much porn saved on my work computer, or I don't have an eMail to blast out to everyone saved in Draft (I actually have two eMails:  DEFCON 1 and DEFCON 2 I call them.  I sent out the DEFCON 2 message - don't use this eMail address anymore.  I still have not gotten to the point where I send the DEFCON 1 eMail, which is equivalent to telling myself "Turn your key, sir.  Turn your key.")

The box has been stuffed between my desk and the wall, so it is not easily visible.  A few folks have noticed it and I have told them what it is for.  I think they think I am joking, but I not.  For some reason people don't like believing the truth.  It reminds me of when I was in grad school and the job search mania that enveloped us all back then.  There were a few days when I would be very low in the clean clothing, and all I had was a suit and dress shirt.  I would wear a tie, as I think my suits looked silly without one.  This would always elicit questions from classmates:  "who are you interviewing with today?"  My answer was an honest "nobody".  Yet, they didn't believe me.  They were convinced I had an interview, and that made them more paranoid.  It was especially bad if there wasn't a company on campus.  If they had asked "why are you wearing a suit today?" I would have told them the honest answer.  I had no other clean clothes.  Alas- I digress.  No one at work believes me when I tell them the purpose of the box.

I used to keep in practice with packing things quickly.  I have heard stories of folks who had 5 minutes to clean their desk out.  I have tried to cut my down to 90 seconds.  I used to train preparing for emergency packing situations.   I was like a Marine;  travel light and pack fast.

On Friday, it became apparent I needed to return to boot camp.

With nobody watching, it took me about 12 minutes to get everything in the box, and I still didn't get everything in it.  Several brave items were left behind (Semper Fi indeed). Those who did not make it include:  

• My autographed picture of our former NASCAR driver Todd Kluever
• My Space Buddy Certificate that shows my name has been sent to Mars. I got in 20o2 on the NASA Kids site (I wanted to get in good with any Martians who might find this)
• An old Palm Pilot which has all my insurance and medical contacts
• (2) copies of the "The Six Sigma Way" given out to 3M employees when our ex-CEO came over from GE. (The fact I only have two copies is impressive.  Other people have tried to hide thier copies in my bookshelf when I wasn't paying attention.  At one point I think I had 5 copies.  I thought I was down to 1, but someone sneaked another back in, the b@stard).
• My steel toed work boots from a Caterpillar plant
  
• A collection of my favorite badges from trade-shows, including the World of Concrete show, The American Welding Society show (3 times) , the America Industrial Hygienist Convention and Expo (4 times), the International Woodworking Show, and of course The International Poultry Convention and Expo. These are all real shows I have attended.
• Several photos of my niece and nephew

This is by no means as fun a list as the fellow at General Mills who was auctioning off the contents of his cube on eBay (comedy at its finest!).  It did highlight the more ridiculous parts of my job - oh, I did forget all my personal reviews and accolades, too.  Plus any free samples I wanted to hoard in case of a pandemic.

The worst part of the operation was how heavy the box was.  I was dying.  I stopped three times on the way out to my car to catch my breath, and I have been working out a lot lately.  It was a good thing this was not an actual termination.  If it had, it would have been tough to walk out with my head held high.  It would have been impossible to do it gasping for air.  Back to boot camp for Jimbo.

Oh - as a side note - the box has not moved once I got in the door of my home.  It sits there as a monument to my girly man-ness.

The Quantum Physics of a job search

As many of you know, I am looking for a new job.  To me, this is one of the most unpleasant tasks I have ever have to do.  I think for people like me, it exposes all your doubts and uncertainties - or rather - you feel they are magnified.  For those who are good at job searching, I applaud you.  For me, I feel a bit like Dave Thomas, founders of Wendy's; when asked why he started his own fast food chain, he said it was so he couldn't get fired again.  For me, starting my own business would mean that I wouldn't have to find a job again.

Today I had a few phone interviews.  One was practice (or rather, I saw it only as practice); the other was for real.  The real one went okay, but not in the direction I wanted it to.  I think I still have a chance, but maybe not the one I want. I did do a good job of convincing him I was qualified, but unfortunately not for what I was interested in doing, which is what I found disappointing. I might still have a chance of swinging it to my favor, but it will take work (and it may not happen).    I had a lot more enthusiasm for the prospect before I made the call then I do now.   Later, as I was reflecting on my performance (something I tend to do, ad nauseum), I remembered the story of Schrodinger's cat.

For those of you who not familiar with Schrodinger's Cat, it is one of the founding conundrums' of quantum physics.  I will do my best to explain it in terms I can understand.  Schrodinger's cat lives in an opaque box.  Inside the box is a device which is triggered by the random decay of a radioactive sample that determines if the cat gets fed food or poison.  In the classical world, the cat would either be alive or dead.  In the world of quantum physics, all possibilities exist, so the cat can be both alive and dead at the same time. 

That is when it hit me.  When searching for a job, and looking at an opportunities, all possibilities exist - I could get the job, I could bomb the interview, or something else might happen (like today, where I ended up doing a good sell job for an opportunity in another group).  All these possibilities exist - or existed - until the call was made.  Once the call was made, the quantum world was replaced with classical physics.  One outcome remained.  The possibility I was hoping for did not materialize.  Schrodinger's cat was dead.

I think I prefer the quantum world when it comes to job searches - all the possibilities exist and none are ever denied.  It is far less terrifying and it shields you from disappointment.  It does not provide the validation of success that the classical world does (after all, in the quantum world, not only did I get the job I wanted, but I also didn't get a job, too).  It is the fear of losing potential opportunities - the could have beens - which make the classical world discouraging and cause us to seek refuge in the quantum world.  I think it is the reason why we don't take action;  we don't want to lose the possibilities that exist in quantonium.  Once we make that step and take action, we limit ourselves.  None of us want that.

Even though through taking action, I have caused an outcome, there are still possibilities out there.  I have a meeting with someone else in that company, in the group I was interested in, and they may be able to help me.  There are still many options that can come from this discussion, so while one option is gone, new ones have emerged.   The first cat may be dead but other boxes exist both at this company, and new ones at countless others.  

And for those of you wondering, no I have not been drinking as much as you think I have been tonight.

Where have all the bad guys gone?

So I am watching TV again in the upper reaches of the cable spectrum - the movie channels, one of my favorite stomping grounds - and another 80's movie comes on, "War Games", with Matthew Broderick and Dabney Coleman.  (What is it with this guy and 80's movie's anyway?  Last post was on "License to Drive".  Now it is "War Games". Doesn't he do anything else?  When is he going to tell me about quitting work??!).

I still like the movie and I found it entertaining, but what caught my attention was not the young Matthew Broderick, or Ally Sheedy, but Dabney Coleman's performance.  What an @ss he was.  I mean, he was a first class jerk.  He played up the role of jerk to a new level. Even when he had the chance to show empathy, he actively avoided it so he could be an even bigger bastard.  It was really quite amazing.

This wasn't the first time Dabney played the bad guy.  In fact, most of his roles are bad guys.  Every role I can think of that he played was a jerk;  in drama's like "On Golden Pond", comedies like "Nine to Five" and kids movies like "The Muppets take Manhattan" he always plays the smug, ego-centrical, @ss.  He plays this role very well.

Then it hit me - nobody in Hollywood is really good at playing bad guys anymore.  Occasionally actors may do it for a role or two, but then quickly change back to traditional, heroic leading men parts. Both Kevin Spacey and Gary Oldman had phases where they played nothing but bad guys (Oldman did a better job playing Lee Harvey Oswald than Oswald ever did).  But beyond that, very few A-list actors play the bad guy.  Tommy Lee Jones occasionally plays the bad guy, but his characters have to have deep seated motivation for him to be the jerk.  We have to know and understand his reasoning;  he does not live for evil.  Even comic bad guy characters don't exist anymore.  Who will fill the role of Harvey Korman and all his humorous, and incompetent evil characters?  

In today's PC world, you have to be very careful with who is the bad guy.  Nowadays, if you play the bad guy you have to be white and male; very few minorities are cast as the bad guy, for fear of stereotyping.  Preferably, bad guys are a Nazi, or Nazi sympathizer, or you have some other racial prejudice.  South African's were a popular target back in the late 1980's.  After stories of Nazi gold stolen from Jewish families, Swiss bankers became an unwitting target of Hollywood.  Beyond that, it is tough to find anyone who will be the jerk.  It is a shame, too.

I think it would be fun to be the bad guy.  A few years ago for Halloween, I dressed up as a bad-guy pro wrestler.  It was a blast!  I got to break away from my traditional role as a nice guy, and let my evil side out, for humor's sake mind you.  It was a release from the way we are supposed to act, and you got to do those things we all want to at some point in our lives, but as good citizens, we don't do.  

What could be better than being an actor and getting paid to do it.

Ahh, where have all the bad guys gone.

PS - For all you Celebrity Death Pool players, Dabney Coleman is alive and well.  He will turn 76 in January.  He is still acting in TV and movies.

Licence to Drive

So I went home early today, a bit under the weather today. I turned on the TV and flipped over to one of the random cable stations in the 50's, or 60's on the channel spectrum, and what do I come across, the late 80's movie "Licence to Drive." Yes - that "Licence to Drive", staring the dynamic duo of Corey Haim and Corey Feldman.

I always admit that I had a special place in my heart for this movie. It was a stupid teenage, bad hair, 80's movie, but for some reason it made me laugh - both then and now. It was released just before the world started getting too PC and you make jokes about drinking and driving. Heck, there was even adult sponsored underage drinking (okay, one sip or champagne during a toast). I hadn't see the movie in ages, but I do remember having a teenage crush on the female lead, who drank too much, and ends up passing out for half the movie.

I never knew who it was, and when watching the movie, she looked strangely familiar. A quick check on IMDB.com, and I found out it was an 18 year old Heather Graham, in one of her first feature films. I was stunned. I figured that she probably went the way of other incredibly beautiful 80's teen movie stars, like Sloan from "Ferris Buller's Day off" or Monique from "Better off Dead", who were one hit wonders. I was glad to see this was not the case and that this one ended up having a real career.

Too bad that is not the case for Corey and Corey. C'est la vie.

"Live every week like it's 'Shark Week'"

In the last 48 hours, the two predominate activities for me have been (1) watching Season 1 of "30 Rock" and (2) thinking about the reorganization at work we are undergoing. For those of you who have not watched "30 Rock", the title of this posting is advice Tracy Jordan gave to Kenneth the NBC Page. For those of you I have not talked to about work lately, things are changing.

A major reorganization is in the works for us. We all knew it was coming, but we didn't know what was going to happen. We got a taste of it on Monday when the overall structure was laid out, and the changes are major. Not all of the changes make us feel confident of the future. Two of the four key directors are out of jobs.

Layoffs for the rest of us seem inevitable (or more politely know as job eliminations). We don't know who or when, but we all expect this to happen in the next few weeks. It could get brutal. Everyone is counting on their supporters to cover for them. I am not sure what my future will be with the division. I think I should be safe, but my hopes of getting a better job may not happen. It could happen but maybe not. Maybe I will get fired.

Then today, I thought, maybe I do want to get fired. Maybe I really want to be laid off. I haven't been happy at work in - well - a long time. Maybe never after many years of working for 3M. I have been working and pushing myself in the hopes for something better in the future at 3M, which still has not materialized. Maybe this is a sign that nothing good is in my future here and that it is foolish to waste any more time waiting. Instead of thinking I "should" look around, maybe I need to get fired so I "have" to find something elsewhere. Maybe it is time, and this is the kick I needed to leave.

I though about this today and it made me happy. Excited actually. More excited than I have been in a long while. It was a good reminder that we do have choices and control over our actions, just like our friends in the deep blue ocean.

Live every week like it's Shark Week.

Family Guy FCC Song

I don't know why I find this so funny, but I do. This is from "The Family Guy" and the episode PTV, were Peter starts his own TV station. I can't seem to get this song out of my head:

Three little words: Tommy Vu Rocks!

Last night I was watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN. For me, nothing is more entertaining than watching a bunch of average guys - and by average I mean average looking, average background, average lives - play for millions of dollars under the bright lights of Vegas against the greats of poker. The poker greats, by the way, are former average guys, who have won big money and now make a living playing cards.

Last night they showed the finals from one of the smaller events. The poker was not that exciting, but one of the contestants caught every ones attention. It was a blast from the past, Mr. Infomercial himself - Tommy Vu. Gone the way of the Yugo, or at least I thought, but apparently he has found a new calling, playing poker professionally.

For those of you who do not know who Tommy Vu is, he made a name for himself in the late 80's with his infomercials promoting his real estate seminars. Tom's infomercials were notorious because of his difficulty with the English language, the frequent use of bikini clad models, and his berating of the audience with his memorable quotes. Some of my personal favorites include:

"'You are loser! Get out of my way! I make it somehow!'"

"Are you man enough to get off your lazy American ass and go to Vu’s seminars?"

"Do you think these girls like me? NO, they like my money!"

I am not sure how much money Tom Vu made from Real Estate or if anyone actually went to his seminars. He his is living in Vegas, apparently after making a lot of money in the real estate game, and now plays poker professionally. He seems to be living well, and he has put on a few pounds. But still, he had the same take life as it comes attitude. Nothing seems to bother him and he seemed to be having a great time, no matter what happened in the tournament. There is a lesson to be learned here. Whether or not he is making a fool of himself on TV or if he is at a card table looking like a Vietnamese Elvis, he was having a good time and didn't take anything to seriously.

It was a reminder we can all use from time to time. God Bless Tommy Vu.

For more on the life of Tommy Vu:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Vu

Yesternight

One of the fun things about kids is their simple, often fresh perspective on mundane topics, like English vocabulary. For those of you who have had to endure talking to me for more than 5 minutes sometime in the last three years, one topic that has come up is my niece Anna. Yes, I am a grandmother at heart and yes I adore everything she does. The other day, she shared a new word with me, "yesternight". Not last night, but "yesternight" as in, "yesternight we had spaghetti".

It caused me to think - why isn't there a yesternight? We have a yesterday, but we say last night. To make it more complex, we don't use the expression "last day" either. Why not? It doesn't seem to make any sense. All I know is I like the word. It seems like it should be a word and I want it to be one.

The best book I have read about the history of the English language is "The Professor and the Madman" by Simon Winchester. Mr. Winchester has written several other books, which I have enjoyed, but this is one of my favorites. For those of you who are interested, it tells an educational and entertaining story of why the English language is so confusing. Unlike the French, there never was a council of languages, which determined what qualifies to be a word or not.

Which is why I am taking a stand on "yesternight". Why isn't it a word? Who says it can not be a word? If Homer Simpson's "d'oh" can make the Oxford English Dictionary, then why not "yesternight". Of course we could add "last day" as an acceptable phrase, but "yesternight" sounds fancier.

So join me in this quest to bring "yesternight" into mainstream conversation.

Thank you
Jim

PS - for those of you who did not believe me when I said that "d'oh" is in the OED:

http://www.oed.com/newsletters/1999-07/appeals.html