As many of you know, I am looking for a new job. To me, this is one of the most unpleasant tasks I have ever have to do. I think for people like me, it exposes all your doubts and uncertainties - or rather - you feel they are magnified. For those who are good at job searching, I applaud you. For me, I feel a bit like Dave Thomas, founders of Wendy's; when asked why he started his own fast food chain, he said it was so he couldn't get fired again. For me, starting my own business would mean that I wouldn't have to find a job again.
Today I had a few phone interviews. One was practice (or rather, I saw it only as practice); the other was for real. The real one went okay, but not in the direction I wanted it to. I think I still have a chance, but maybe not the one I want. I did do a good job of convincing him I was qualified, but unfortunately not for what I was interested in doing, which is what I found disappointing. I might still have a chance of swinging it to my favor, but it will take work (and it may not happen). I had a lot more enthusiasm for the prospect before I made the call then I do now. Later, as I was reflecting on my performance (something I tend to do, ad nauseum), I remembered the story of Schrodinger's cat.
For those of you who not familiar with Schrodinger's Cat, it is one of the founding conundrums' of quantum physics. I will do my best to explain it in terms I can understand. Schrodinger's cat lives in an opaque box. Inside the box is a device which is triggered by the random decay of a radioactive sample that determines if the cat gets fed food or poison. In the classical world, the cat would either be alive or dead. In the world of quantum physics, all possibilities exist, so the cat can be both alive and dead at the same time.
That is when it hit me. When searching for a job, and looking at an opportunities, all possibilities exist - I could get the job, I could bomb the interview, or something else might happen (like today, where I ended up doing a good sell job for an opportunity in another group). All these possibilities exist - or existed - until the call was made. Once the call was made, the quantum world was replaced with classical physics. One outcome remained. The possibility I was hoping for did not materialize. Schrodinger's cat was dead.
I think I prefer the quantum world when it comes to job searches - all the possibilities exist and none are ever denied. It is far less terrifying and it shields you from disappointment. It does not provide the validation of success that the classical world does (after all, in the quantum world, not only did I get the job I wanted, but I also didn't get a job, too). It is the fear of losing potential opportunities - the could have beens - which make the classical world discouraging and cause us to seek refuge in the quantum world. I think it is the reason why we don't take action; we don't want to lose the possibilities that exist in quantonium. Once we make that step and take action, we limit ourselves. None of us want that.
Even though through taking action, I have caused an outcome, there are still possibilities out there. I have a meeting with someone else in that company, in the group I was interested in, and they may be able to help me. There are still many options that can come from this discussion, so while one option is gone, new ones have emerged. The first cat may be dead but other boxes exist both at this company, and new ones at countless others.
And for those of you wondering, no I have not been drinking as much as you think I have been tonight.
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