MLB's Minnesota Twins opened their new stadium, Target Field this "Spring". The press has generally been favorable. Much too favorable. I feel there has been far too much undue praise on the new stadium. After my first game, I can only point out three good things about the new stadium:
1. It is outdoors
2. The retro Twins signage in Centerfield
3. It is not the Metrodome
Also a fourth reason - for me personally - I live close enough to Target field to walk there from home. For most fans, though, I think the reason everyone is so in love with the stadium comes down to #3: it is not the Metrodome, the stadium universally hated and despised by fans and players since its opening. (As a side note, I shudder to think what is going on with the rat population at the old dump. Without Dome Dog remnants to eat, they might turn vicious and aggressive on any human visitors - or - they will start feasting on each other, creating a race of mutant, super rats. Either way, I am avoiding the first few Vikings games there this fall just to be safe).
Once you get past this short list, I found there are in fact many reasons to hate Target Field. For your reading pleasure, I present the Top 10 Reasons to hate Target Field:
10. No retractable dome: The combination of a cold, Northern city, plus a sport with a season that goes into November, minus a roof equals a recipe for disaster. There is no way to avoid it; this was an idiotic move.
This year, the contract for Twins star catcher and local boy from St. Paul, Joe Mauer, was due to expire. If the Twins had not resigned Mauer, it would be an admission that they screwed up, and they don't want to put out a contender, to avoid the humiliation of a snow-out in the post-season. But they did resign Mauer, and they sent a signal they do want to be a winner. In doing so, they proved they are more ambitious than the Timberwolves, but somehow, they are still just as stupid.
9. Narrow concourse: Knowing MLB, you figure there would be regulations on how narrow a passageway you can have in a stadium. I am fairly certain the Twins have violated this along with any applicable fire codes. It is a cramped, narrow space that is tough to get around, especially since everyone seems to funnel in from one gate. Normally this would not be too big a deal, but they neglected a behavioral characteristic of Minnesotans: They wander aimlessness when they walk.
Forgive me for disparaging an entire state, but nobody from Minnesota walks with any purpose. They amble along aimlessly, with no regards to anyone around them. Minnesotans walking are the equivalent of sign readers in cars. This works fine in the small towns but in a confined space it causes endless traffic jams at best; at worst, it causes dropped beers and brats.
8. Beer selection: Speaking of beer, the selection at Target field, in a word, blows. Target sold their soul to Anheuser-Busch. Local options are few and far between. They have been segregated to narrow back alley locations, or carts staffed with the slowest pourers known to man (at least on the night I went). Imports are non-existent.
7. Entering the park: For all the faults of the Metrodome, you could at least get inside the park relatively easy. Leaving was always an adventure, but the added wind gust helped hurry along the random amblers (see no. 9)
6. The gigantic lighted sign on the Center Field wall: Perhaps the most pervasive offense of the entire stadium is the gigantic, illuminated, distraction in Center Field, also known as the scoreboard for other games. Other parks have scoreboards to keep you up to date with the other scores around the league, but I can not think of one which is both illuminated and so centrally placed. It is almost an admission that "yes, we know the Twins will suck, so you might as well be entertained by someone else."
5. Delta club: Delta has sponsored a private club area on the first base side. From the outside, this club looks exactly like the Delta/Northwest Sky Club in the Detroit airport. I am not sure what it is like on the inside, but I have my suspicions. Asked if I think you would get free food if you sat there, all I could think was "not if it is sponsored by Delta."
4. Funky seat design: On both the 1st and 3rd base lines, the seats do a funky U-turn in towards the field. Many ballparks do this, but they adjust the angle of the seats to provide better sight lines. At Target field, they do not. Effectively, they have added more seats with a worse view. There is only one other ballpark I know of that has made such a mistake - the Metrodome.
3. Looks like Xcel: Is it just me, or does the stone used look exactly like the insides of the Xcel center? The Xcel is vastly superior in acoustics and beer selection to all other stadiums in the state. I don't know if the designers were trying to tap into that "Xcel" magic, but it takes more than using the same stone to pull it off.
2. "Target Field": Something about the name bothers me - Target Field. First off, it's inaccurate - it is not a Target; we can not shop here. Second, Target didn't really pay for this stadium. I did, and so did all of you. It was our patronage that paid for this stadium, and not just at Target. Those of us who live in downtown have to pay the 10%+ sales tax to help fund this stadium. If anything it should be named for us. How about "Target Guest Field"? Seems a tad bit more appropriate.
1. The Milwaukee Effect: Milwaukee completed a new stadium for the Brewers nine years ago. It cost $400 million. Adjusted for inflation, that would cost $496 million in 2010. The Twins new stadium was projected to cost $522 million - slightly more than Milwaukee but basically similar cots. So for the same amount of money, Milwaukee got a stadium but with these added benefits:
- More seats
- Better sight lines
- Wider concourses
- Sausage races
- Better beer selection: Imports and Local
- Cheaper average seat prices ($22.10 vs $31.47)
- Retractable Dome
Play ball!
1 comment:
Perhaps the worst analysis ever
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