So last week I go to lunch with SeaBass, which means only one thing: a very in-depth discussion the rest of the world would find meaningless but which we find endless hilarious. Today's topic was popular entertainment.
We started with our initial discussion of movies. We both liked "Valkyrie" and thought it was getting unfairly slammed in the press. It was very exciting, even though you knew how it was going to end (to quote SeaBass, I need to put in a SPOILER ALERT here: They did not kill Hitler). Also, I could not top SeaBass' two word summary of the movie: "eye popping!" It was a very well done movie, and it is possibly the most positive portrayal of the German Army (as opposed to the SS) since "The Great Escape".
We both also like "Quantum of Solace". As much as we were upset to see Pierce Brosnan depart as Bond, we do like Daniel Craig. Pierce suffered from bad stories. He was a great Bond, but his stories were tired, retreads of the 1960's and 70's era stories. It was too much for him to expect to carry the whole movie on his charm (though he did so four times). Bond needed to be refreshed, and Daniel Craig has done a great job (albiet a dark one) in doing so. Our only complaint was that "Quantum" was still heavily dependent on "Casino Royal" to make total sense. There was just enough backstory for you to understand what happened in the previous movie to get you up to speed, but it was close to be very episodic.
Which takes us to the new Star Wars movies. Last night, we discovered we were both had Spike TV on and were both watching "Star Wars III: thank goodness this is the last one!" (or whatever it is called). We both hated the movie, but for different reasons. My complaint was that it was bad acting. Painfully bad. So bad that Natalie Portman had to shave her head to free herself from the parasitic lice that had infected her head, and crippled her acting skills (okay, that wasn't the reason, it was her role in "V", but still, changes needed to be made).
The only redeeming bit of the last three Star Wars movies was Ewan McGreggor. Unlike everyone else who mailed-it-in after the first one, he was the only one who put any effort into the films. In my opinion deserves an Oscar for sticking with it, even though the ship is going down (hummm.... new category for next year).
My other big complaint with the movie was that it could not stand on its own. The first three movies could all make it on thier own merits; you didn't need to see the other ones in order appreciate the one you were watching. Not so with these; you have to be fairly up on all the history in order to understand what is going on (at least that is my reasoning for not understanding the last two).
SeaBass' reasons for hating the movie were (a) the acting, (b) the CGI overdose and (c) the stupidity of the plot. He pointed out something about the movie I had not considered. He could accept the fact that a million man army of clones could be assembled without the Imperial Senate being alerted, but what about the transportation? These clones were not walking to their destination, they were flying in space ships. You gotta figure, a good sized ships can only hold about 5000 Clones, so you are going to need upwards of 200 ships to transport them. And these aren't like rental cars - these are some big honking ships. And they ain't free. So if you miss the convergence of all these gigantic ships in space, you figure some accountant would have noticed the capital expenditure. I got an expence report at work flagged because I overcounted the nights I stayed on a work trip. One night - $129 extra bucks - and I was caught. With all the technology available to the Imperial Senate, you gotta figure they would have noticed all this cash outlay and investigated sooner.
Which brings us back to James Bond. I am a fan of the bond movies of the 70's, but there has always been something that has bothered me about them. Whenever some diabolical genius comes up with a plan for taking over the world, why does Bond always follow a convoluted plot though bars, back alleys, and babes? It is very time consuming and usually (almost) goes wrong. How about doing this instead: call every uniform manufacturer and find out who has placed an order for 2000 orange and yellow jumpsuits.
Think about it - in every one of the old Bond movies, all the bad guys have an army of incompetent foot soldiers all dressed the same, in some brightly colored jump suit. Do you think they are making these on their own? Heck no. They are too busy taking over the world, so they have to outsource the clothing operation. So instead of trying to charm the babes, pick up the yellow pages, find everyone who supplies uniforms and start making calls. If they don't cooperate, threaten them with OSHA violations, until they start talking. A days worth of calls will get you a lot further than tracking down contacts in Cairo. And it would be much cheaper too.
Anyway, that is my movie rant for the day. No real point to it, but it felt good to get that off my chest. I hope too see Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler" this weekend, which will raise the question, "Why is Marisa Tomei suddenly getting naked in every movie she now makes?"
Until next time, good movie watching.
1 comment:
The dumbasses that made this article don't know anything about star wars so why are you even talking
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