Aug 22, 2008

Aug 22nd, I got IDed again. I am fairly certain this will be the last time, ever. I was about to get the "wave in" but I was with younger looking friends, so I was guilty by association. Thank goodness.

Anyway, I was feeling good about getting IDed until the next bar we went to that night. Somehow we got into a discussion about "New Coke". The 24 year old bartender didn't know what is was. Honestly. She had never heard of it. The cola wars to her were something you read about in the history books. That momentarily washed away my earlier euphoria for being carded.

Eh, c'est la vie. I still got carded.

Ms. Quayle

So is too soon to start calling McCain's VP choice, Sarah Palin, Ms. Quayle?  Kinda hard to avoid making that comparison, isn't it.  For a candidate who postured themselves based on their experience, this seems like a really dumb choice.

First off, since when did Alaska matter in a presidential election?  It always goes republican.  Always.  Those are the safest electoral votes in the country, and even if they were at risk, you only lose 3.

Second, I can understand picking someone younger, but why pick someone whom nobody outside the state of Alaska knows? For those who do know who she is, she is usually referred to as "the woman who defeated Frank Murkowski."  If you wanted to pick someone young, why not pick someone who is better known, and who comes from a state with a lot of electoral votes.  Didn't they check to see if anyone from NY, California, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Florida or Massachusetts was available?  Strange.

Which leads us to the obvious reason he picked her:  She is a woman.    This is almost a desperate plea to different yourself like the Democrats.  This is the GOP saying "Me too!  We are not just a bunch of old white dudes!"  Truth is, for the most part you are, but that shouldn't make you unelectable.  

Picking a VP seems easy enough:  find the best person for the job; find someone who has solid experience which complements the Presidential Candidates.  If it is a tie between several good candidates, then pick the one from the region of the country you need the most help.

I know little about Sarah Palin, but I suspect her accomplishments and appeal could have easily been met by someone from a state which you do not have to worry too much about losing their 3 votes.  

Remake Mistake

Why in the name of all that is good and just must we be flooded with movie remakes? Are producers so risk averse they can not try anything new? Or is Hollywood so bereft of ideas they must go back to the archives to find "new" ideas for movies, that they will only succeed in crapping up?

The latest abomination to hit the screen is "Death Race" which opened last weekend, which is a remake of the 1975 cult classic "Death Race 2000" which stared Sylvester Stallone and David Caradine. From the previews, the remake seems to follow the time honored tradition of f-ing up the premise of the original. The 2008 version has prisoners racing for their freedom, which actually was the premise of the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger movie the "Running Man" sans cars. The original Death Race 2000 featured drivers who were national heroes who ran over people for sport. The tag line for the movie was "In The Year 2000 Hit And Run Driving Is No Longer A Felony. It's The National Sport!"

Did I love the original that much that I have to complain about the remake? No. It was campy cult movie fun. A statement was made but it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Not like movies today which must have a "moral message" in order to be made. This is a problem with all TV and popular entertainment today. They all have to have a message. Only "Seinfeld" remained immune. It had no message and no point, except to entertain, which was part of its charm.

In my book, there are only three situations where it is acceptable to remake a movie:

1. The original was in another language:
Recently, I watched the original "Breathless" (aka A bout de souffle), the 1959 French classic. It was a good movie, but subtitles and all the French references limited its appeal in other markets. The remake was in English with Richard Gere as the star. It actually wasn't that bad (the last half was great!). It also expanded the originals appeal far beyond what it could have achieved on its own.

2. The original was really, REALLY, bad:
In 1941, Humphrey Bogart stared in the "Maltese Falcon." It was a landmark hit. It was also the third attempt at making the movie. The first release was in 1931; the word most commonly associated with it is "regrettable." One other attempt to make it in the ensuing years, which was never completed. When John Huston took over the third version, with Bogart, the advice he was given was don't change a word of the original story. He didn't and it was a huge success for him, Bogart, the studio, and movie fans.

3. The original was based on another source, that was not a movie (e.g. book, short story, real life events):
This is a more of a justification rather than a real reason. I was trying to figure out how I could allow for remakes of the Batman movies, and this seemed like a safe bet. It also allows for multiple remakes of Shakespearean plays, too.

When is it not permissible to remake a movie:

1. Cult Classics:
This seems to be a favorite target of producers. It is like they are trying to atone for past sins. Cult classics should not be taken seriously; they were statement movies with satire, designed to poke an extreme reaction, but nobody took them at face value. The producers of "Death Race 2000" never really suggested that everyone should really run over geriatrics in front of a nursing home for sport, even though that is what they did. I haven't seen the new Death Race, but I am sure that the hero Jason Statham was a victim, framed for his the crimes that sent him to prison. Yawn. Who gives a rat-fart.

2. "Epic" movies:
It goes without saying that films that are epic in scope or vision should not be remade. We should not expect to see Brad and Angelina in a remake of "Gone with the Wind." It is for precisely this reason I am so excited to see "Hamlet 2". Of course it shouldn't be made; the premise is so over the top bad that it has to be funny!

3. Signature works:
When an actor is so well known for one role, it should never be tampered with, ever. A few years ago, a made for TV version of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" was released, staring Jennifer Love Hewitt in the part of Holly Golightly, the role made famous by Audrey Hepburn. About the only nice thing the critics could say about the movie was that Jennifer Love Hewitt didn't mess it up too badly.

As you guessed, I probably won't go see the new Death Race. I think I already can guess at how the movie goes: Prisoner, wrongly imprisoned, has one chance for freedom. Must race and kill to escape. Has moral problems with killing. His example influences others. He focuses his efforts on clearing his name, which puts him into conflict with the Warden who created the race. Because he is good and just, he will triumph with his morals intact. Yawn.

Me, I think I will catch Hamlet 2 and maybe rent the original.

The lowest form of life

I think the lowest form of life in this country is a feminist who claims to be a Democrat, but can't stop their blind devotion to Hillary.

If you are a feminist, good for you. Support your candidate with pride. Just don't claim to be a Democrat, too. Being a member of a political party means you support the candidate of your party, even if it isn't the one you wanted.

Hillary supporters were and are still threatening to vote for her, just when the party needs to come together. Protests were planned for Denver to force Obama to put her on the ticket; thankfully this drama was avoided by naming Joe "Xerox" Biden before the convention began. But still, there is still the possibility the die hard supporters won't let go. According to a posting in AP, one delegate does not care for Hillary's concession. "'I don't care what she says,' said Mary Boergers, a Maryland delegate who wants to cast a vote for Clinton." (See full article)

The irony of all this is that the very symbol of the feminist is urging for unity and support for Obama. It is baffling to think that the leader of a movement is smart enough to realize it is time to be pragmatic, but her supporters refuse to listen to her, and in fact are actively taking action to thwart the decision of the leader. Simply maddening.

Behavior like this is pure Anti-Darwinism, and this group is most likely doomed to extinction. Their behavior will cause their slow de-evolve till there is nothing left of them but a few single cells floating in a pond of muck.

That is why they are the lowest form of life.

My Olympic Diary

I haven't had a good posting in a while, and it is all because of the Olympics. I'm hooked. I have been glued to the TV watching every possible moment of Olympic action. To tell you how badly I am hooked, instead of flipping the channel, I am actually listing to Bob Costas drone on about the Olympic spirit and what a historical event this is for these athletes, these viewers and yes, for me, too.

I am not sure why this Olympics has me more hooked than the last ones. I was only mildly interested in 2004 Athens (mostly to see how badly the Greeks were going to f-it up) and 2000 Sydney the US networks did such a bad job with the coverage, it was barely worth watching. I don't think I have been this hooked since 92 Barcelona, or possibly 84 LA. My only guess can be there was a compelling reason to watch with Michael Phelps which began day one. NBC did a good job building this story line and it got me interested before the games, and because he started swimming the first days of the Olympics, I was hooked from the start.

I was hoping to have a meaningful post that I could pull out of all my hours of watching, but I don't. Instead, I have a random collection of thoughts and my personal observations of Games of the XXIX Olympiad:

• Usain Bolt, the Jamaican Sprinter, sounds like an opponent who fought Rocky Balboa. It fits that tradition of Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang, and Mason Dixon. In fact, I think Usain Bolt was one of the people Rocky fought during the opening montage of Rocky III, when he had 10 title defences.


• Country with the highest proportional representation at the Olympics: Cook Islands. They had (4) athletes out of a population of 22,000 (1 in 5500)


• Country with the lowest proportional representation at the Olympics: India. Out of a population of 1.15 billion they only had (53) athletes (1 in 21.7 million)


• I was secretly relieved when the female sprinter from Bahrain, Roqaya Al-Gassra, did not qualify. It is not because she is Muslim and ran with the full hajib; it is because if she won, the media would never let go of this one, ever. They would probably make a movie about her - "Chariots of Fire 2", but this time with a Muslim woman instead of a devote Christian and a Jew.


• Why on earth would you ask Michael Phelps' sister if you think your brother is sex symbol. Yeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!


• For the 2012 London Olympics, I think NBC might consider rating Women's Volleyball "TV-Mature". Yowsers!


• I find my loyalties to the USA being tested in Men's basketball because of Coach K. So long as he is not shown on TV or being mentioned by the commentators, I can keep pulling for the Starts and Stripes rather than Angola.


• The most difficult sport for me to watch is Woman's Gymnastics. These young ladies try so hard and have put so much into this it hurts to watch when they make mistakes.


• Speaking of Woman's Gymnastics, Shawn Johnson seems to get much more favorable coverage than Nastia Liukin, and I don't know why. I think Shawn is as cute as a button, but something about her eyes bothers me. This sounds horrible, but when I look at her eyes, they look dead to me - like there is no soul behind them. There - I've said it. I done with this one now.


• My prediction for the new most popular name for strippers: "Nastia". It just sounds dirty.


• My favorite non-US male athlete: Matthias Steiner, the German Weightlifter, who won the gold medal for his wife who passed away in a car wreck last years. Even big guys cry.


• My favorite non-US female athlete: It was a tough call between the Javelin thrower from Uruguay or the Japanese Indoor volleyball team (all of them), but the winner is Shelly-Ann Frasier, the Jamaican sprinter who won the 100m. Gotta love the pure joy of winning.


• I really hate the new gymnastics scoring system. The judges don't seem comfortable with it and it seems like it is making a subjective scoring system even worse.


• I never knew I gave a rats-@ss about synchronised diving until now.


• Speaking of diving, this is one sport I have difficulty rating without the benefit of super-slow mo. To me, they all look perfect in real speed. How the judges can judge this without instant reply is beyond me.


• Best outfit of the opening ceremonies: Sweden. Traditional Chinese outfit in the Swedish National colors. That designer would have beaten Korto's design on Project Runway.


• I think for the next Olympics there should be a rule that all athletes - female and male - should have shaved armpits. It is getting a little messy out there....


• How do athletes make a living? I am not talking about pro athletes like the US hoops team, but Joe Blow track star? How does he make a living and have time to train? Are they sponsored? What about the small countries - how can the Cook Islands support (4) athletes? Seems expensive.


• I think the worst sport to compete in would be any of the rowing events. They are really long races, with a lot of nausea induced motion, and you have no view. It doesn't sound fun at all.


• I miss Jim McKay

Ugly American: Update!

I have an update on an earlier post "Ugly American." In this post, I debated between which photo to use for my new passport - one where I looked doped up loser vs. one with psycho eyes.  I ultimately chose the psycho-eyed photo cause my hair looked better.

Anyway, I recently used my new passport for the first time to get a Visa for Brazil, and I was rejected!  The official word is I didn't fill in one of the blanks on the on-line form.  Maybe.  It could also be the psycho eyes.

There wasn't time to resubmit, so I had to cancel the trip.  I am hopefully going to reschedule in a month or two.  We'll see then if it was the form or the eyes.  Stay tuned!

Dive Bar making some ink

Following up on the March 2008 posting "So you think you know Dive Bars", the dive bar that inspired the post, "Mum's" made the Baltimore City Paper.  Nice review, thought it didn't mention the cat, Sinclair.

Mum's City Paper Review

PS - If anyone has an idea what "viryta" is or what you do with it, please let me know.

Cheers

Olympic Hero: Dick Fosbury

The 1968 Mexico City Olympics are usually remembered for a few key evemts:  the Black Power salute after the 200m finals, Bob Beamon's shattering of the long jump record, the splitting of the German team into East and West.  My personal favorite story is Dick Fosbury.

Dick Fosbury was a tall, lanky, high jumper from Portland, OR.  He found the traditional forms of high jumping too complicated and not effective for him.  So he developed his own technique, dubbed the Fosbury Flop.  At first it was seen as a side show act, a novelty that could not compete with established methods.  Despite the pressure and criticism, Dick managed to qualify for the 1968 Olympics, where the world saw his new technique.

Dick won the gold in 1968.  Soon, all the world's high jumpers adopted his form.  Dick would not win an Olympic medal again, but his legacy continues.  No competitive high jumper today uses any other method than the flop.  

The funny thing is, Dick never set out to change a sport.  He was a kid from a small town, who competed outside the traditional hotbeds of track and field athletics, who wanted to find a way to compete and win.  

Dick Fosbury:  1968 Olympics

It is amazing what you can do when you don't know it can't be done

Rebellion Update #3: Welcoming Ms. Tsai

Greetings Comrades!

The glorious Left Sided revolution continues!  Today, a victory for the left siders.  Thanks to a new addition to our division, we can report an a successful defense of our non-conformist ideals!

Thanks to the addition of Ms. E. Tsai to the accounting department, there has been a reorganization in the mailslots within my part of the building.  The mail section in my division was getting full; the only blank spot was above my box.  The addition of Ms. Tsai caused a reshuffling of the name tags for everyone between me and her.  I can proudly report that the imperialist mail pig moved my magnetic name tag, but placed it on the left side as opposed to all the other right sided slots.  They did not dare to tamper with the power of our ideals, but cowered under like the conformist dogs they are!  Glory to the rebellion!

While Ms. Tsai is an unwitting participant in our revolt, we have deemed her worth of our praise.  She will be awarded the glorious honor of Sinister Rex for her support of our cause.

Viva la Revolution!