Thursday, June 19, 2008

What is in a name?

"We are leaning towards the name Judas" my good friend Jon said when I asked how his expecting wife (and the author of "Get Motivated with Maryann" blog) was doing. "Judas - we like the uniqueness of the name. There is not much of a chance that any other kid will be named that." I didn't take him seriously when he suggested this as a name for his child.  This was said for shock value and amusement.  Something people quickly learn about Jon when they meet him is that his primary emotional states are "sarcastic" and "extremely sarcastic", which is followed by "hungry" and "sleepy." Plus, even if he was serious, I knew his wife would never go along with it.

He was right about that point that it would be a unique name. I can't think of anyone outside of Judas Iscariot who had that name.  There are Judah's and Jude's, but no one I can think of named Judas.  It is off limits for Christians, and possibly for anyone of any other faith . I think it is one of those names which is so tainted that everyone considers it untouchable, like "Hitler", "Stalin" and "Urkel." I understand his point about uniqueness of a name, though, probably better than most people.

My parents were wonderful people, but when it came to names, they showed an incredible lack of creativity. I have been cursed with an incredibly common name. There is a reasons for it - family and tradition mainly. My ancestors (my homies) are Greeks and they recycle names. The tradition is for men's first name comes from their grandparents and your middle and last names come from your father. Once you get past two male kids, then you start using names from uncles and other close family members. As a result, there are a lot of repeats. The joke is that 75% of all Greeks men have one of the seven following names: George, John, Gus, Chris, Nick, Pete and Jim.  If you know any Greek men, you are probably laughing now. If you add in Dean, Evan, Edward and Angelo, you probably got 90% of the population right there. So, following tradition, I have a very common name. It is a good name - not a trendy one for which I am thankful.  Almost nobody misspells it, but it is a bit common. Just here at my employer, there are seven other people with the same name.

My last name is a different story.  It is also common, but how it got that way is a bit of a mystery.  My grandfather came through Ellis Island, and like a lot of immigrants, his name was changed.  It used to be Maroulis.  Somehow it became Miller.  Nobody is sure if it was his choice, or if it was the immigration officer.  There are a lot of theories in my family about the origin, which were never resolved when my grandfather was alive.  I think he changed it himself.  He had no illusions about returning to the Greece; he came to America to be an American, and he picked an American name.  Yanis Maroulis became John Miller.

I have often wondered how life might have been different for me had my name remained Maroulis.  I wonder if people would have treated me differently or thought of me differently. Would people have treated me differently if I was introduced as Jim Maroulis?  Or Demetrius Maroulis, the full Greek version of my name?  It certainly would have been more memorable of a name.  What would the perception of me have been with that name. The stereotype of Greeks is that we tend to be loud and a bit emotional (see "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".  You call it a comedy; we call it a documentary).  With a name like that would I have acted any differently, having a personality closer to the stereotype?  Or would I have had the same personality I have now, and I would have been the abnormally quiet Greek?  

Having a very common name brings other problems. We are impossible to find in the phone book.  No need to get an unlisted number; if you don't know it, you will never find it.  There are other problems, too.  Good e-mail addresses are hard to come by; it took me hours to find a decent one for gmail. The e-mail address I eventually settled on was a result of starting with "jmiller1" and I kept on going till I found one that wasn't taken (hence, jmiller13@gmail.com). All things considered, this is a relatively painless process.  If I can't find one I like, I can always go to another free eMail service.  The worst our websites where you have to create you own unique login.  It is a fricken nightmare.  Either give me an account number, or let me use my eMail. If I have to create my own login, "Jim Miller" or any close variation is already taken. Don't make me get creative and make me try figure out another clever way to change "Jim Miller" into an easy to remember account name that is usable only on your fricken website! I am convinced the person who came up with a system like this had a name like "Mortemer Dipthong" and has no trouble getting his first choice for account names.  It is things like this that have caused me to think about changing my name to something new.

If I was to change my name, I would probably keep the first name, but change the last. "Freakonomics" had a section on first names, their trends, reasons for popularity, and their impact on how children are perceived. It was quite interesting, and the first name can have an impact on someones life. I am not ready for that type of change at this point in my life; I just want something more unique. So this means changing the last name. This would be an insult to my family, but, considering the name Miller is still a relatively new one for us, would it be that big of a tragedy?

There used to be an IT guy here at work who supported our area. He was a Native American, kind of quiet, but he did a good job. His name was Norm Crazythunder.  I always liked that name.

Jim Crazythunder ... it has a nice ring to it.  It would be unique, easy to spell, memorable, and best of all, it was available in gmail.

Cheers,
Jim

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Boy, did you peg Jon!!! And, did you make me giggle :)

I love this post. It's funny because we always thought we knew what our children's name would be...until we got pregnant...then everything changed.

Names can have such an impact on your life! It is a major responsibility to name someone (or take on a new one Mr. Crazythunder)!

When picking out names for our little boy who will join us in September...we angonized over boy names. I wanted something symbolic that epitomized strength, character and ancestory. So, we have chosen a name that has all of these characteristics.

It wasn't easy and we went back and forth. But, we are not the type of people who go get a baby book of names...no, our son's name had to have meaning. Meaning that could remind him of believing in himself and having courage.

We are keeping the name a surprise...except for that special someone he is name after. My family is out of control wanting to know it. I purposely didn't want anyone's opinion-it was our decision. So, noone knows until he arrives...and then how can anyone argue with the name "Jim Miller"-just kidding!

I am named for Ms. America-MaryAnn Mobley. Jon for his uncle that passed right before he was born.

At least it's something.

Don't worry...Judas Balbo won't be happenning!

Love the post!

Anonymous said...

Your insight into my pscye is amazing. I am sarcastic, and a little tired (we just ate dinner). That being said, here are some names that I believe capture your true essence (Fozzie was an option, but we like the dog better).
Jim Cloudyday
Jim Mistyrain
Jim Brillohair
Jim Daisypants
What do you think?

Jim Miller said...

I am with you Maryann - it is no ones business but you and Jon's what the name of your child will be. I never ask - it is not my place to ask, and chances are, I will have an opinion on it.

My sister did the same thing; she didn't tell anyone the name until the baby was born. After my niece was born, I found out she would be called "Anna" At that point, there was no going back, and I kept all my opinions to myself and simply said, "it is a beautiful name"