This year I have spent a lot of time in planes and airports. To me, this is one of the greatest environments to observe human behavior; people's true colors come out for all to see. I am on my last flight for 2010, using the free Wifi, and I decided this is an appropriate time to list my observations, questions, and a few rants on how air travel could be improved.
Airline announcements:
Have you ever noticed that all airlines make their announcements in the terminal using the same format: Airline, flight number and maybe destination. Why don't they start with the city? People tune out quickly (okay, I do) and I don't want to wait to listen to something which may or may not be relevant to me. People are much more likely to remember their destination than a someone arbitrary collection of numbers, so start with the airline and city - flight numbers only really matter to the airlines and the air traffic controllers.
Priority list for security
I have never understood why there is a priority lane for airline members with status or first class. I have been a beneficiary, of this policy, but it still doesn't make any sense to me. I understand the concept from the airlines point of view - they want their best customers treated well, but the TSA is a government entity. Seems like undue influence on a government operation by the private sector. I can't think of any other situation where a company can have such a visible influence on a government operation, particularly one that deals with safety.
Drinking and pre flight announcements
I try to pay attention when the flight crew is giving the pre flight announcements. I am no Cpt Sully; I just feel bad for them going through the whole routine, which we have all heard a hundred times, and no one pays attention. I feel like if they can get at least one person to politely listen, they might feel less frustrated about their job. Basically, they have to cater to a bunch of whinny children in adult bodies; doesn't sound like fun to me so let's do at least one nice thing for them.
I was thinking about how frustrating their jobs are, while listening to the safety instructions, while I was having a pre-flight cocktail. Then it hit me: how can I be reasonably expected to remember the emergency procedures when I am getting sloshed, courtesy of the airline? I am now under the influence (or possibly further under, depending if there is a delay); my faculties are being compromised while critical information is being given. As the airline is acting as the enabler, how can I be responsible for any of my actions? My sympathy for the good folks in the air grows.
Soup on a plane:
I was flying home recently through Atlanta (which I hate, aside from the Chick-fil-a right by gate A-10), I get the upgrade (score) and there is dinner on the flight (score x2). The choices aren't that good, but acceptable, but get this: the side item with my sandwich is soup.
Okay, I have no room to complain - I am getting upgraded and I am getting food - but doesn't soup seem like a really, Really, REALLY bad idea to serve on a moving plane? Liquids on any moving vehicle tend to slosh, and the ground based ones only travel in two dimensions (usually). Airplanes must - read MUST - travel in three dimensions. The potential for spillage increases exponentially. Fortunately it was a smooth flight so no issues. But the next time I might not be so lucky....
Pets vs people on plane
I have some friends with severe pet allergies. One person I know can't be in the same room if a cat has been in there, even if the cat is gone. So what happens if a person brings a pet on a plane and there is another passenger with severe allergies? What do they do? Do they move them apart? What if they are both in first? Who gets moved: the allergic or the pet owner? What if it is a small plane and not enough space to separate the two and someone needs to get bumped? What are the rules? Every time I see someone bring a pet in a carrier on board, I wonder if this will be the time I finally learn what happens. So far, no luck.
ADA bathrooms
There is a great law that passed in the 90s called the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). It insures that any new or remodeled commercial buildings or space eliminates barriers to those with disabilities. One of the more common examples of the ADA at work is with the large stall bathrooms, which allow for someone in a wheelchair to rotate. The law says there must be a 5' circular area so someone in a wheelchair could turn around. How airlines have been able to avoid compliance with this law is beyond me.
The restrooms on planes seem to be getting smaller and smaller, so that even sub 6-footers like me can't go #1 with contorting into a strange position (funny side note: on my visit to see the fam this Xmas, my nephew said he had to go #3. In the words of my sister, I don't want to know what that means). Anyway, with all the new jumbo sized planes being designed, I hope this issue gets addressed.
Boarding procedures
Airlines have tried boarding in rows. Now they are trying in zones. Neither works well and the trend is getting worse. If you want to board an airplane efficiently, try this: board by window, middle, then aisle seats.
The biggest holdup to boarding is the constant flow of people back into the one row for handling traffic. If no one had to get out of their seat, the amount if time to load a plane would be greatly reduced. This happened to me first hand once before. One time I was flying out of NYC. Our flight was late and we had a very narrow window to get our departure slot. The counter agent ordered everyone in the waiting area to get in their rows and seats, and loaded us in the plane in the manner. Status didn't matter - it was all about efficiency (a woman after my heart). The whole plane got loaded and we pushed off from the gate in under 10 minutes.
Exiting planes
I like it when the pilots stand outside the cockpit when passengers disembark. I like to thank them in person. I don't have a joke, or snide comment to make; I really like it when they do this. If anyone knows a commercial pilot, please ask them to do this; I like thanking them for not crashing.
Happy trails from 24,000… no, feet.
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