Why are you going to Lithuania?
I have been asked this many times over the past few weeks when I have told folks my travel plans. After I explain I am voluntarily spending my vacation in the Baltics, the reaction has been split into two camps: those who think it would be a fun adventure to a place off the beaten path vs. those who look at me with a cocked eyebrow and a look of concern on their face. There really is no in between. It reminds me of (the one) joke in the movie "Rhinestone". After Dolly Parton's slime-ball manager keeps making unwanted advances to her, she replies, "There are two types of people in this world, and you ain't either one of them!" Okay - it is not the same, but it is still a funny joke.
My trip started in Amsterdam, flying AirBaltic to Vilnius, Lithuania, via Riga, Latvia. Earlier this year, I flew on an airline called China Eastern - neither word inspires confidence for me in air travel. You can add Baltic to that list, too.
It didn't start out well. I got there two hours before the flight departed, and it still took 45 minutes to get checked in. The gate got changed to B25; little fun fact about Amsterdam's airport - there is no gate B25 (trust me - I looked everywhere). It was here I realized that my faith in this airline was based entirely upon the reasoning that if the Dutch let them land here, they must be okay. When we got changed to a non-existent gate, my faith began to waver. Eventually, we got rescheduled to a real gate where there was nothing to do but sit and wait. And wait.
While waiting, I hear music to my ears; another voice speaking English. And not just English, but a Scotsman! In my travels, nothing can make a bad situation more fun then hanging out with a Scotsman or an Australian. To me, these two people can make any bad situation better. We get to hanging, helping make the wait much more enjoyable (and no we didn't hit the bar). I think the world would be a much better place if it was run by the Aussies and the Scots. Certainly, it would be a lot more fun.
Eventually we board the non-air-conditioned plane. It was surprisingly new and clean. Nothing too remarkable about it, until we took off. People applauded. I am not sure if this is cultural, or based on experience, but it was somewhat unnerving. The flight was uneventful; I almost though it was a normal airline, except the staff was far too nice. We landed in Riga, Latvia, to more applause, which I had to participate in, too.
The airport in Riga was surprisingly nice. This is the third airport I have been to in the former Soviet Bloc and all three have had kick @ss airports. I had time to kill so I found myself a bar and tried the local creations (Zelta = good. d@mn good beer), but no tables were open. Folks who had finished their beverages were not vacating their tables. I tried the standard techniques to get a table, but to no avail. After a few minutes, I realized I had no chance. These people suffered and fought under Soviet occupation for over 50 years; my polite throat clearing and impatient looks were not moving anybody.
I eventually get to Vilnius, and applauded the pilot, again. This airport, unlike the others, had some remnants of the Soviet empire. No duty free shopping or other charms were evident. I got to the hotel, after only slightly getting ripped off. It is late, but I am hungry and feel like exploring. There were no visibly charming parts of town that we road through on the way to the hotel, though I was told the old town is quite nice.
It was.
It was like Prague, on a smaller scale but without the tourists and stores of crap. I find a restaurant an a cobblestone street that has local, Lithuanian dishes. As I would learn, that means that it contains meat, potatoes and sour cream; the proportions vary depending on the dish. It was surprisingly good, though. Also, the beer was quite good. I am seriously thinking of acquiring the distribution rights for all Baltic Brews for the US. I get to talking with the server (everyone here speaks remarkably good English, except for me). She asks me the same question I had been asked for the past few weeks: why did you come to Lithuania? She was actually surprised that we (Americans) even knew where Lithuania was on the map.
Did I know where Lithuania was?! Little did she know she was dealing with a history and geography geek. I proceeded to share with her the history of Lithuania - the kingdom, the empire with the Poles, and the suffering under communism. She listened politely to my anti-commie rant, when I realized that she is probably 22 years old, 24 tops. She has no memory of Soviet occupation. As a child of the 80's, who grew up with movies like "Red Dawn" and "Rocky 4", I find this hard to believe.
The truth is, only half of what I said was true. Yes, I did know about the history of Lithuania, but only half from my study of history. The other reason has to do with Pro Wrestling.
Back in the 1980's, when pro wrestling hit a revival, there was an evil trio of Russian Wrestlers - Ivan Koloff, Krusher Khruschev and the Nikita "The Russian Nightmare" Koloff. They were easy to hate. Nikita had legendary battles with Dusty Rhodes and Magnum TA, good guys, through and through and arch-enemies of the Russian trio. However, in late 86', Magnum TA has a very serious car wreck; he is lucky to live and he never wrestles again. About this time, the Mikhail Gorbachev's popularity is on the rise. In the spirit of Glasnost, Nikita changes sides and becomes a good guy. In his own words, "my heart bleeds for Magnum", for which he was awarded the Sportsman of the Year Award by "The Charlotte Observer".
Where is all this going? A few years later, after the Soviet empire collapses, we find out that Nikita was not really Russian. He was Lithuanian. All this time, and we never knew - who would have guessed! So in all honesty, yes, I did study the history of Lithuania, but what prompted it was my enduring fondness for pro wrestling (WoooooOOOOOooooo!!!!!)
I stagger back to my hotel through the streets of Vilnius around midnight. After getting lost, I realize this is a very safe town. Single women walk the streets unharassed (and by walk, I mean go home. Not "walk", walk). Also, there are churches everywhere. I mean everywhere. Day 1 is in the books and it is off to a good start.
Sveikata!
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