The way to go

Over the weekend, my uncle Chris passed away; the funeral was yesterday. During the eulogy, the Priest said something that stuck with me. Chris knew how to live, but when his time came, he knew how to go.

To understand this comment, you have to know my uncle. He was an extrovert's extrovert. He knew everybody and I mean everybody. There was not a town you could go to that he didn't know somebody. Everybody was a friend and everyone he met wanted to be his friend. It was not reserved to people in power and influence. He knew and liked everybody no matter what their station in life or what they could or could not do for him.

His oldest son told the story of when he was at their vacation home in California and had to get my uncle's car repaired. The normal garage he took the car was closed, along with the next closest one after that. He drives for about 10 miles till he finds another garage. There is a mechanic working under the hood of a car, he looks up, sees the car, walks over to the driver's window, stares at my cousin for a moment and says "you must be Chris' son." 10 miles out of town, in a town they don't live in, and the mechanic deduces who he is from the car of someone he knew.

You were not friends with him because your parents were friends with him. He made friends with you, regardless of your age. When I was 12 years old, he took me to his golf club. I had never swung a club before, but he took me out, gave me lessons and introduced me to everyone like I was his best friend. I was a 12 year old kid, but he made me feel like I was his best friend in the world. He had that gift to make you feel special.

Last August, he was diagnosed with lung cancer; the doctors said he had between 1-12 weeks to live. To those who knew him, it looked like his health had been going downhill, but because of some difficulties his wife was having, I think we all missed the fact that he was going downhill. He fought on and lived for almost 6 more months.

As remarkable as his life was, it was the end of it which gave us so much pause for reflection. During his final months, he never got sad, he never complained, and he never bemoaned his fate. He kept going on, making friends with strangers, and loving every moment of being around people. He received countless visitors during these months, who all had the chance to say goodbye. On Saturday, he was surrounded by his four sons, their wives, and most of his grand-kids. When he passed away, he did so gently, surrounded by the people he loved. The funeral seemed more like a party; family and friends were having a good time telling stories about a man who touched so many people, and up to the very end, he never met a person he didn't want to befriend.

That is the way to go.