My mischievous 2008 Plan

Thanks to all of you I have leaned on for help in the job search; so far no changes to report, though I did go on some interviews before Christmas.  It did not work out, but I am happy I did not get the offer.  I don't think I could have worked for the hiring manager, so I was relieved that he didn't want me either.  It prevented me from having to say no to him.  

I was asked by several folks over the Christmas Break if I had quit.  I think my initial eMails out made it seem like I did leave, but I am still working at 3M.  My job has changed, so that now I am doing a fraction of what I was doing (and it just happens to be the part of my job I didn't like), but I did not quit.  I am pretty bad when I don't have much to do at work; I am even worse when I don't have a job at all.  I admire the folks who can quit with nothing lined up.  I wish I had their confidence.

I did, however, suggest that my job should be eliminated.  Twice actually.  Once to HR and once to our Director.  The first time I brought it to HR, I think I caught her off guard.  She suggested that if I was unhappy, that I look to further job training on 3M's expense, like getting an MBA.  Thanks - been there done that, but let me know if you want to pay for the one I got, retroactively.  The second time for the Director, I prepared a better story.  It actually started out on another topic; with our reorganization, I could see a problem emerging that I was trying to prevent.  From there it led to a discussion of my responsibilities.  I shared with them my calculation of how much of a person is needed for my job.  It ranged from (1) Full Time Equivalent (FTE) to 0.3 of a person.  It was dependent on how some tasks were broken up and that was being generous.  With the problem of the meeting being resolved, my responsibilities were on the low end of the scale, so I looked at my director and suggested since there was not much for me to do that my job should be eliminated.

It was one of those moments I didn't realize what I was saying until it was said, but even after I said it, I wasn't really worried.  He had not thought of this as an option. I brought this up to him, so obviously, he was not prepared to can me on the spot.  He did not take offense to my suggestion, but I think he was caught off guard.  I didn't say anything offensive; I brought it up like any other decision we have to make on a daily basis, this one just happened to be surrounding my future employment with Mother Mining comp.  In reality, all I said was I could be doing much more than my current role and that he should give me more responsibilities.  No manager could take offense to that.

As it turns out, I didn't get let go.  In fact everyone in the meeting took it in turn to say what a value I was to the organization (doing what, I am not sure), and then after the meeting each one stopped by my office to reassure me one on one that there was a role for me here and that I was necessary within the division.  I really appreciated this (whether or not I believe it), and I give my new boss a lot of credit for trying to work with me to find a way to make this job more substantial. In the end, though, nothing has changed so far and I have my doubts anything will for me here.

It did raise an interesting situation for me.  I had just told my boss, the director, and everyone else reporting to the director that I think I should be fired, and they didn't do it.  To me, this brings up the intriguing possibility that there is not much I can't do or get away with at work right now.  Outside of committing a criminal act, I don't think I can be fired.  I don't have enough responsibilities to be incompetent, and with the limited budget I have I can't cause major damage to our financials.  I show up late, I leave early, I check my fantasy football team (or rather I checked - d@mn crappy team!  Just wait till next year!).  I am getting to the gym a lot more and I am catching up on eMails to friends.  What work I have to do is getting done.  I am actually making up projects for myself to do, as I have very little to officially do.  I put together my plan for 2008 last week.  If I worked at it hard, I could finish all my goals for the year by April - maybe March if I applied myself.  In any event, I will be short of activities, which will be fun for a while, but it could soon lead to mischief.  

Ahhh, the new year abounds with possibilities.....

Quien es mas 80's?

On my ride home today, as I try to avoid Christmas music, I listened to a collection of 80's music.  I have a weakness for 80's tunes, particularly the one hit wonders.  The really bad ones have a special place in my heart.  I don't know what it is - the hair, the bad outfits, the cheesy lyrics.  Or, it could be based on my friend Dave T's theory of music:  We all believe that popular music hits its peak when we are in High School.  

So I started thinking what band best exemplifies all that was good (and bad) with 80's music?  To answer this question, a few clarifications.  I think of 80's music as the New Wave bands of the UK and their US imitators.  They are typically one hit, or one album fads, that fade out.  Bands like U2 and the Police, while both immensely popular during this time don't qualify.  They both had musical prowess, that went beyond this fad.   Other American bands, like Van Halen, which peaked in the early 80's (admit it - they peaked with "1984".  Claims of liking the Van Hager era music are just a rationalization for buying them) don't qualify either.  They were a rock band that had roots from the 70's; they never got into the 80's scene.  

So who best exemplifies the 80's?  Considering the Hair, the Bad Clothes, the lame dance steps, their Britishness and (at the time unknown) sexual behavior, there is one clear choice in my book:  Wham!

The dynamic duo of George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley (yeah - the other guy) I think are the poster children for music in the decade of excess.  They (and by They I mean George), had the looks the charm, the throngs of teeny-bopper fans.  Good cases can be made for Duran Duran, Culture Club, and the rest, but I am not sure if they capture all the elements of the 80's along with the subsequent visceral reaction that Wham! seems to produce.

Let your vote be heard - please add your comment on who was the best (aka the worst) example of 80's music.

My booger freezing morning

The other morning, I had to get up early to meet someone for a 7:30 am meeting.  Early morning is not my prime time, and certainly not when it is cold and dark outside.  It was an important meeting, so I rallied when I heard the alarm, showered, shaved and got ready for the outdoors.  I knew without checking that it would be cold.  You could hear the wind hallowing, and the night before had been rather brisk.  Actually - the night before was proof that I have lived in Minnesota too long.  I was leaving the gym at about 7 pm talking to a friend, who grew up in New Mexico.  It was grey, overcast, sleeting and according to my car 26 degrees.  We both said as we walked outside, "what a nice evening!"  We were both being serious.

Anyway, when the night before is in the freezing zone, you know it will be worse in the morning.  I walked out to my car, breathed in, and - yep - I had an instant booger freeze.

Now, for those of you who don't or have never lived in a really cold weather environment, let me describe a booger freeze.  In the morning in winter, we all try to do our best with our personal hygiene.  This includes the aforementioned showering and shaving, along with other various body grooming rituals.  While we in the Midwest (AKA the fly-over zone, the sorta square states or (my personal favorite) the fold-over states (named so because we disappear when you fold up a map of the USA)) may lack some sense of style, but that is based on a desire to stay warm.  We know our outfits look ridiculous, but they are warm d@mnit!  We do our best to "clean house" in our nasal passages in the morning, but occasionally, stragglers won't let go.  On those really cold days, boogers will freeze instantly in the nose, creating a solid block of snot in the air intake.  It is quite a shock to the system and can wake you up more than hot cup of coffee.  Frozen booger can hurt quite a bit, and they have brought a tear to my eye, which then starts to freeze.

After years of measurement, I have determined that the precise temperature boogers freeze is 0-degrees Fahrenheit.  This is not dependent on wind chill, as the boogs are protected from sudden gusts.  This temperature finding actually raises an interesting question - what did Fahrenheit base his scale upon and what does 0-degrees represent?

I don't really understand why he came up with the scale he did.  The only number that seems to make sense is 100-degrees, which is what he thought was normal body temperature (close, but not quite).  32-degrees is where water freezes, but why he picked 32 I don't know.  It seems like water freezing is an important reference point, and it makes sense to have an easy to remember point of reference for it - like 0 I would think.  But apparently not. Fahrenheit lived in Northern Europe, and maybe like us Minnesotans, you don't feel really cold at 32 degrees. Maybe to him, the real unpleasantness of the cold didn't occur till your boogers froze up.  Hence, the scale is based on bodily reactions and not the change that occurs in the physical  world - 100 is normal body temp, 0 is a booger freezing day.  And back in his day, he probably did not have easy access to tissue paper, so frozen boogers would have been a major problem.    It is one of those hardships in life you don't read about in the history books.  Such a shame.  It could be fascinating - the impact on our history motivated by a lack of Tissue Paper and Frozen Boogers.  Probably a few minor wars were a result of just this sort of thing.  It is a mystery for the ages.

Take a Sabbatical While You Work

This summer, I spent a lot of time thinking of taking a mental break. Work was busy, stress was high, I wanted a change - but I also realized I was burnt out. There was so much going on at work, combined with my desire to make a change, that I was mentally shutting down. One day I forgot how to start my washing machine. Honestly. I just looked at it for a few minutes, trying every button or knob till something started working. This is not a good sign.

Anyway, I started thinking what would be my ideal job if I needed a mental break. If I was able to take a sabbatical, or just time off from work with no repercussions, what would I do? I couldn't do nothing - or at least not for more than a few weeks. So what would I do if I needed a non-mentally challenging job, that would fill the days, but allow me to recharge. Also, I would want some interaction with the world. I couldn't hide in a cube away from everyone. I would want to communicate and interact with folks, while not being mentally taxed.

I mentioned this to several friends and co-workers, and not suprizingly, all the 3M'ers could relate. I was able to quickly come up with a list of my top-3 non-mentally taxing, socially interactive jobs, which are:

3. Mailman

2. Wheelchair pusher at the Airport

1. Monorail conductor

Now to clarify Mailman, I would want to be one of the guys in the jeeps delivering mail. I don't want to be one of the folks behind the counter, or one that sorts the mail in the back. I want to be one of the guys in the right-hand drive jeeps who get to go to houses. I think I would have fun doing this. "Good morning Mrs. Johnson! Here is your mail. Do you have any outgoing mail today? Have a nice day!" I have a lot of fond memories of my mailman as a kid. I had a Richard Scarry Autograph book as a kid; you were supposed to get different people to sign it. One of them was our mailman - my first autograph he used to say - and I always liked him. Plus I though the jeep was cool.

Wheelchair pusher at the Airport I think would be fun. You would move around all day, get to see new parts of the airport (and MSP is a huge airport!). You would probably get good interaction with people. "Where are you going today? Are you visiting family? I hope the weather is good and you have a nice flight. Take care!" Plus, I get along well with older people. I would also get some exercise in this job and I think it would be great for people watching.

Monorail conductor would be the dream. It would be hard to get the job as there are not many monorails or light rails out there, so I think the competition would be high. If I wanted to do this, I might have to start with a job on the light rail here in Minnie - or move back to Charlotte to work on their new one. Maybe from there I move up to a subway operator - a lot of cities have subways. Then, after building up my resume enough, I would go for the A-List locations - Seattle, Las Vegas, and the Granddaddy of them all - Disney World! I don't know if I could come back from a job like that! Ahhh - it is the dream!

The key of all three of these jobs is that I don't have to think much, I can make polite small talk, I don't have a supervisor looking over my shoulder, and I can be as chatty or as quiet as I want.

Then it hit me. With the recent changes to my job, I don't have much work to do. I came in today at 8:45, had several conversations in the morning, including a 30 minute discussion with Cory about my fantasy football team (which sucks), answered a few phone calls, finished my presentation and I am effectively done for the day at 11:15am. My boss is never here (and by the way - I do like my new boss immensely), and I am able to catch up with my sister when she calls during work, instead of letting it go to voice mail. All of this occurs on a daily basis, and I get paid to do it.

I don't need to take a sabbatical from my job; my new job is a sabbatical.